He's At It Again!

My family (mom, dad, brother, sister, sister's boyfriend, me, my husband, and our son) is going to an amusement park tomorrow. Admission to this amusement park includes admission to the adjacent waterpark.

I just broke the news today that me, hubby, and our son would not be joining them for the waterpark portion. I explained that hubby is uncomfortable swimming with girls. This is half true. Hubby is uncomfortable with a bunch of bikini clad babes swarming around him, but he's also uncomfortable with me swimming in my board shorts and rashguard. I know it's not 'hijab' but compared to what most will have on, I truly think for the situation it could be safely called modest.

But n.e. wayz...I told them we wouldn't be going and my dad started again. "When you started dating, did you know that you wouldn't be able to do all of these things?" (water parks, wearing shorts...that's it I guess, lol)
"Of course not."
"Well, I tried to warn you. They're very strict over there. Does that mean your son can never go to a waterpark."
"I really don't know, dad, but even if it did, it wouldn't kill him."

Um...I think I'd rather have the man of my dreams than a pair of shorts any old day.

Of course, as he ponders this information he randomly confronts me for the remainder of the evening.

"Why was it okay for you to wear shorts while you were dating, but it's not okay now?"
"I can wear them, hubby would rather me not and it's really not a big deal to me."
"But why didn't it bother him before?"
"It did, but he was afraid to tell me. "
"Well, what if he decides he doesn't want you to be a Christian?"
"Dad...they're shorts."
"Yes, but he has this influence over you."

You know what this means....once I DO tell them, they won't believe that it's my own decision. It will all be to please my husband or due to his influence (er, brainwashing). That makes me feel just greeeat.

"Okay, I'll drop this whole waterpark business if you promise me you'll stay a Christian."


He really said that. 'promise me you'll stay a Christian'

"yeah, Dad."
"Jesus died for your sins, you have to remember that. And you have to teach your son that. It's your responsibility that he becomes a Christian."
"I am not responsible for his choices."
"But you're responsible for teaching him. I never see you reading him Bible stories. You have to make him Christian or your husband will make him Muslim."




I have to tell them soon or I'll go mad. Our family vacay tomorrow would be one giant fight, though, if I had told them tonight.

Hmm. I wonder when it'll happen.


In other news, my grandma had hernia surgery today. All went well alhumdulillah! She is already at home. :)

Visas...or lack thereof.

Hubby's parents have been trying to come meet their grandson. They were denied a VISA back in May, when they were going to come meet our son and help their daughter with the birth of her first. They had to wait until this week to get another appointment...and they were denied again.

My dad, of course, is freaking out. If they can't come here...he realizes we'll have to go there. He also sees this as a 'see, if you go they won't let you come back!' type of deal. He's wrong of course, lol. The problem isn't KSA letting them out...it's the U.S. that won't let them in.

They talk to our son on Skype...but I really wish they could meet him. Hubby cannot leave the country until after we've filed all the immigration stuff because his visa expires the minute he leaves. This means we're stuck in the U.S. for probably a year and a half. That means that unless they do eventually get a visa, they won't meet their grandson until he's over 2. :( Even after hubby's cleared to leave, we can't go to KSA until our marriage is approved which could take...forever w/out the right connections. So, we'll probably be meeting in Bahrain or Dubai over a year and a half from now. Sounds so bleak. I want my son to feel that he's a part of both mommy's and daddy's families.

How do you...

tell your family that you are Muslim? I am really struggling with this. So much so, that it is stopping me from living fully as a Muslim.

My parents are super conservative Christians. They're actually both Sunday school teachers, as is my sister. I know they will be so hurt and disappointed in me. This does not make me doubt my choice, but it does make it hard to tell them. I live with them because I've yet to be married in a legal sense...and they don't recognize my Islamic marriage. Even though me and my husband have a son (who they view as born 'out of wedlock') they will not allow us to live with him until the marriage is legal. They think that to do otherwise would be a sin.

I think it's more of a sin to keep a son from his father and a father from his son.

We won't be married legally until next summer. By then I'll be graduated and will lose my father's insurance anyway. (yes, my parents won't allow me to marry because I'll lose health insurance........when did marriage become more about money and benefits and less about love?)

I can't plan the wedding. Because my parents don't know that I'm Muslim. So, I either a) have to tell them ASAP so that I can plan a Muslim ceremony (that they certainly won't pay for) or b) just skirt the issue by having a secular ceremony or an unceremonious courthouse wedding.

My life is difficult at the moment.

My mom tried to feed me sausage pizza last night. Instead of telling her that I don't eat pork (and haven't for the past 8 months) I simply went to eat in the TV room claiming I just had to see America's Got Talent. (i couldn't care less about that show). While in the other room I proceeded to tear my pizza into pieces, placing them in a napkin and then throwing them away later.

I ate microwave popcorn and a spoonful of peanut butter later that night as a makeshift supper.

Today I hurriedly hid the Qu'ran under my bed twice as my mom walked in. I'm not smooth at all. She has to know something is up with me.

I cringe every time my father sings Jesus Loves Me to my son. (and that's about 5 times a day...he's trying to fight off the Islamic influences he gets from the other side of the family with Jesus songs) When I'm with my son I sing Allah Love You this you know for the Qu'ran tells you so.... I don't know if that's proper, changing the lyrics to Christian songs, but the melody does calm my son down...

My family complains when I dress modestly. You'd think, that my conservative, Christian, Sunday School teaching parents would LIKE me to dress modestly. But every day that I walk out of the house in jeans I get questioned. "Are you allowed to wear shorts?" "Why are you wearing jeans? It's melting outside!" "You're not Arab, and you're not Muslim. You don't have to dress like them." They then proceed to close the door and talk about me as though I'm not sitting in the next room.

What they don't realize is that although I leave the house in a short-sleeved shirt and jeans...I pull over a block or two away and put on a long cardigan and hijab.

I only pray when I'm at my husband's apartment. Today, at least, that was four of the five prayers, but oftentimes during the week I don't get to pray at all.

I am a Muslim in my heart and mind. I want to be a Muslim in my actions, as well.

So again I ask: How do you tell your family that you are Muslim?