Ironic

I bought 5 textbooks off of half.com/ebay for a class that I ended up dropping before school even began.

I didn't want to waste my money. So I put the books up for sale on half.com. Someone bought four of the five.

I was given his address, and it was the same town that hubby lives in/our university is in.

I proceeded to e-mail the man, asking if he was a student at my university, and asking if he needed the books for LLL 250. (the course I dropped)

Turned out, yes on both counts, so instead of shipping him his books I am personally dropping them off at his class. AND giving him a check to reimburse what they charged him for shipping.


He got quite the deal, he did.

I've never sold anything online before. For some reason, I don't think this is how it usually works.

Suffolk Man Accused of Threatening Muslim Woman

Suffolk Man Accused of Threatening Muslim Woman

Lazeena at Is there Food on My Niqab first brought my attention to this article.


The article she linked to was on a different site. The article itself is disturbing enough....but I have this obsession with reading comments on things like this. I thought 'Of course everybody will agree that this man is deranged!' Even before I was Muslim, I would have thought this man was a crazy racist bigot. Even before I was married to a Muslim, I would have thought that this man was a crazy racist bigot. This is NOT a matter of, well, I'm a Muslim, so I will side with the women. This is a clear cut matter of RIGHT and WRONG. Two Muslim women, wearing the dress of their choice, minding their own business vs. a violent hater of all things Islam who admits to wanting to cut them up. CUT THEM UP.


Hmmm. It's a tough one, really.



GAH! People make me SICK. I will post some of the comments here. There is almost no one on this site standing up for the Muslim women...they were threatened but yet THEY are wrong????

Here are the ignorant, Islamaphobic comments of my fellow countrymen. If my family didn't live here, I'd be on the first plane to Canada. Although Canada probably has its own share of racist pricks. Anyway, enjoy. Or not:

BIG DICK CHENEY wrote:

THEY SHOULD PIN A MEDAL ON THIS GUY

8/28/2009 7:44 AM EDT

Krissy wrote:

Before you all condemn him as guilty, wait to hear all the facts. Just because two Muslim, one of whom is obviously a jail house convert (Chervern Cartier), accused him of something doesnt make it a fact. We dont know if the women provoked the man or not, or if their allegations are true. I for one would be suspect of the women.

8/28/2009 8:23 AM EDT

islamis4creeps wrote:

This gut is a hero. Any of these freaks hiding under their black robes (in 90f temps, mind you) need to GET OUT. They have no interest in being american, just to to it to destroy it from within. Too bad he didn't finish the job!

8/28/2009 8:35 AM EDT

Lou (bx67) wrote:

I think Suffolk County Detective Sgt. Robert Reecks and County Executive Steve Levy need to get their heads examined. With pliable, mindless, America-hating Libs like those, Suffolk County will be unrecognizable in no time. It's already overrun with illegal alien Latinos. What these Libs fail to understand is that when these people from the Third-World reach critical mass as a population, their arrogance will have no mercy on them. They will take over and they will not show the same kind of "courtesy" to people not of their kind. They come from cultures that don't recognize equal rights and political correctness.

8/28/2009 9:03 AM EDT

Krissy wrote:
I believe that Islam is not a true religion, rather I believe they worship the same spirit that approached Jesus in the Desert. When asked to fall down and worship the spirit, Jesus said no, he only worshiped the true god, whereas Mohammed said yes.

8/28/2009 9:42 AM EDT

zamir6 wrote:

He should be arrested for not running them over. Get rid of them before they take over the U.S. and that means sending b.o. and his family to kenya or indonesia.
Send them back where they came from. If they are American born, then send them to the moslim country of their choice.

8/28/2009 10:22 AM EDT

George123 wrote:

I guarantee, if the husband/father didn't force them, they wouldn't be walking around in those "burqas".
Letting a muslim creep make his family prisoners like that is what's at the root of this guy's outburst... he just doesn't know it. He should have channeled his anger, followed them home and then attacked the muslim tyrant with a tire iron, to show them that their "master" ain't so tough afterall.

8/28/2009 2:02 PM EDT

islamis4creeps wrote:

I think about sawing the heads of innocent little muslim women and kids with a dull spoon more and more each day all the while shouting allahu snackbar whilst eating some cheetos with my free hand (this requires a vise and a couple of c clamps)
a salaam a snake 'em you backward lost tribes of Ham

8/28/2009 4:42 PM EDT



So much hate. So much misunderstanding.

I guess that means I'm getting deported to the Muslim country of my choice...even though my family came from Italy two generations ago.

It's hard not to hate right back. So hard.

In Sickness and In Health

My son is sick. He's thrown up 4 times just since I've been home from school.

It breaks my heart to see him so weak and uncomfortable.



Insh'Allah he will get through this quickly and without dehydration.




I think sickness is sometimes harder on the parents than the children. You should see how upset my husband is. When the doctor said he didn't need to be seen, hubby was ready to head to the emergency room. Talking him out of it was no picnic, let me tell you.

I hate seeing our son sick just as much as hubby does, but I know how medical assistance works in the U.S....thus, I know that you don't go to the emergency room unless it is REALLY an emergency.

Waitng for hubby to get home with the pedialyte. Our son won't eat so we've got to keep him hydrated somehow.



I've got homework to do...but who can concentrate?

First Day Recap

7:30 am - My father wakes me up saying, "Didn't you set your clock for 7?"" Grrr....I must've turned it off in my sleep again!
8:00 am - I look decent enough to call myself 'ready.' And start to feed my son.
8:25 am - I rush out the door as my mom finishes up my son's diaper change
9:00 am - ELED 394 Teaching Elementary School Math Fun class, difficult pre-test. Super enthusiastic teacher...I think I'd share her enthusiasm better a bit later in the day, though.
10:00 am - ELED 398 Corrective Reading in the Classroom Another fun class, another SUPER enthusiastic teacher. I love this professor. She's my advisor so knows quite a bit about my personal life. She bragged to the class about how adorable my son is and that's always welcome, lol. Our homework is to decorate a box w/pictures of our family, friends, and things that are important to us. I love ELED homework! So glad I'm not going for business. *shudder*
11:00 am - ENG 239 Depictions of Masculinity in Literature and Film. Need I say more? The most uncomfortable experience in college thus far. My husband's in there w/me and it's so awkward to be in a room full of people throwing around words like 'cock' 'whore' 'pimp' and talking about sexual conquests like they're a good thing!
12:00 noon - ARBC 101 Elementary Arabic. Hooray! My teacher, Layla, is SUCH a sweetheart. I've yet to figure out what country she is from but I'm sure she'll share more as the semester progresses. It's her first time teaching (she just graduated in Jan.) so that makes me a bit nervous because I -really- want to learn something. All teachers have to have a first year, though.
1:40 pm - Arrive at home to the utter delight of my son! He loves me!


Aside from the above synopsis...I also have SOC 100 online, ELED 394/398L (lab...this is my practicum in an actual elementary school) starting in October, and ELED 485 which meets on Thursday nights at 5. AND I have to tutor someone for 485, as well.

Busy, busy, busy!!



I think I secretly love school :/

The Beginning of Sleep Deprivation

School starts tomorrow.

My son doesn't realize it, though, and is sticking to his summer schedule of going to bed between 11 and midnight.

Greeat.

And he'll get me up twice in the night.


And I have class at 9. Every morning. Monday - Friday.

And I live a half an hour away.




And...........


I've enjoyed the summer. Can you tell?

How Long Are You All Fasting?

Each day, that is. This is more of a survey than a post. I know each country's hours of daylight are different due to the different seasons and such, so was hoping to get a grasp of the various times.

I had many sisters comment on my post about fasting. I mentioned my milk depleting noticeably around 6 or 7 o'clock...now I've come to find that some are allowed to break the fast before that (5:30 in Australia? correct me if I'm wrong). In my part of America, fasting is from 5:40 in the morning until almost 9:00 at night. Obviously those times will gradually change as the month progresses.

I fasted w/out food or drink for almost 16 hours on Saturday. I'm not bragging, lol, why would I brag when that was the only day that I fasted? I'm just a little in awe of myself. As I said, I had never ever fasted before....it's a good thing I didn't realize people in other countries had easier fasts until AFTER the fact, lol. That probably would've contributed to my whininess.

First Day of Ramadan

Today, for the first time in my life, I fasted. I woke myself up at 5 this morning to eat a bowl of cereal, and then did not eat again until about 9 p.m.

I have decided that fasting as a breastfeeding mother, for me at least, is a really bad idea. I did surprisingly well, to be honest. But around 6 o'clock I started feeling so weak. It was at that time that I had to go to the grocery store and then begin preparing our meal, as well. At the store I wanted to buy absolutely everything. I knew that'd be silly, though, and just bought the watermelon, cheese, crackers, sour cream, and cream of potato soup that I had set out for.

My husband ended up doing a lot of the cooking because I was so weak. My son eats every 3 hours...when I fed him around 5 I didn't feel like I had enough milk to satisfy him. He ended up being hungry again around 7:15...my breasts felt empty so I gave him applesauce before trying to nurse him. I don't know that he got more than a drop of milk. He was sucking on my elbow he was so desperate. I was so close to making it without breaking the fast, though, that I carried on.

I fed him again around 9:30. He was getting hungry more often because he was never actually getting full. This was after I had broken the fast and I think that he got more milk this time, I hope, at least.

When we broke the fast I was surprised at how quickly I was full. We cooked a very rich chicken caserole...we used, one whole chicken, 1 cup sour cream, two cans cream of potato soup, rice, some cheese, and some ritz crackers. It was good, and normally I'd love it, but after fasting all day the watermelon was much more satisfying. We shared our casserole with our Muslim neighbors, although we did not eat with them. One apartment houses only men and the other a man and his wife. My husband is uncomfortable eating with the wife, just as she's uncomfortable eating with him. Ramadan, thus, was spent at home.

I am proud of myself for having completed today without giving in. I thought for sure I'd at least drink some water, but I didn't. I've decided, though, that it's more important for me to be a good mother and provider for my son. Not only was my milk already drying up, but I was too weak to really give my son the attention he required/deserved. I think my husband's disappointed w/my decision, but I know that it's best.

Ramadan Mubarak, everyone!

Child Sponsorship

I wish I had the money to sponsor all of them.


I sponsor one little girl in Nepal. But what about all of the other girls and boys waiting for a helping hand?

Right now I'm totally dependent upon hubby's money. If/when I get a job, though, insha'Allah I will donate more. I have so many clothes in my closet, yet I keep buying more.

Sometimes I realize how materialistic I can be. I have tons of movies to watch, books to read, CDs to listen to, clothes to wear...yet I still buy more.

I'm going to make a resolution, like a New Year's resolution...only in August. Maybe it can be my Ramadan resolution...although I want to carry it out for longer than a month!

Okay, my resolution is: At most, i will only buy myself one item a month. That's still a lot compared to others out there...but compared to my usual buying habits.....goodness this is going to be a struggle for me. I'm already debating myself in my head going "how about one clothing item as well as one other item?" Hopefully I can shut out these greedy thoughts and really follow through with this.

I'll need you to help w/accountability. You know I generally post when I buy something new. :)

Nothing Says 'Happy Birthday!' Like a Case of Mastitis

I'm 22 today.

Hubby's cooking my favorite food for lunch. Then at 4 we're going to my family's house for cake and presents. After that we're all playing miniature golf.

IF, that is, I'm still well enough to stand.

I have this uncanny ability to ruin any holiday or vacation by getting ill. Seriously ill, at times.

Spring Break, '05, sinus infection
Christmas '05, strep throat complete w/full body rash.
Birthday '06, strep throat.
New Year's, 06, strep throat
Vacation '07, sinus infection and cracked tailbone.
Christmas '07, UTI complete w/trip to the emergency room.
Vacation '08, constant puking due to pregnancy.
Birthday '09, Mastitis.

Mastitis. The word used to mean nothing to me. Then it was just something I read about in pregnancy books. Now, though, now it's as familiar to me as bread is to butter.

My first case of Mastitis was -bad-. Didn't catch it early enough. Ended up going to the doctor, getting a shot and passing out. They then drew my blood to check how bad the infection was. Ha. Let's just say, they were impressed.

Second case, sitting in class, realize my breast is tender. I think "Why is this familiar?" Put off going to the doctor until the next morning. By the time I finally get my prescription drugs, my temperature is 104 degrees.

Third case. By this point I knew what to expect. I woke up with tenderness and a red spot. Called the doctor and got him to prescribe me something. Even working this quickly, though, I still got up to 102 and was in bed for the entire day.
j
Fourth case. TODAY! I said to my husband, 'my boob kinda hurts.' Jokingly he said "oh, no, are you pregnant?" Then it dawned on me. "Mastitis." I jumped out of bed, ripped my shirt off, and looked in the mirror. Red spot. Tender when touched.

Greeat. I called the Dr. and left a message. That was close to two hours ago, though, and still, no reply. Thanks for the concern, Doc.

I other news, I had a great time w/hubby and son on our little vacation. It's nice to just endulge sometimes.

Out of Town!

I'll respond to everyone's recent comments as soon as I can, but it may be awhile because hubby's taking me and our son on a trip for my 22nd birthday!

We aren't going far, just one state over, but it'll be so nice to get away from everything and everyone I know and just live as a Muslim for a couple of days. (dress, prayers, food, etc.)

I'm not sure what all we're doing, I think the aquarium, and a boat, and we booked a fancy hotel, and ... goodness I'm excited. :)

Anyway, we'll be gone Mon. and Tues. and will be home Wednesday, which is my actual birthday. My mom's making me a yummy cake and we're all going out to play miniature golf.



I'm turning 22, but after rereading what I just typed, I've decided I sound like a 5 year old...

He's At It Again!

My family (mom, dad, brother, sister, sister's boyfriend, me, my husband, and our son) is going to an amusement park tomorrow. Admission to this amusement park includes admission to the adjacent waterpark.

I just broke the news today that me, hubby, and our son would not be joining them for the waterpark portion. I explained that hubby is uncomfortable swimming with girls. This is half true. Hubby is uncomfortable with a bunch of bikini clad babes swarming around him, but he's also uncomfortable with me swimming in my board shorts and rashguard. I know it's not 'hijab' but compared to what most will have on, I truly think for the situation it could be safely called modest.

But n.e. wayz...I told them we wouldn't be going and my dad started again. "When you started dating, did you know that you wouldn't be able to do all of these things?" (water parks, wearing shorts...that's it I guess, lol)
"Of course not."
"Well, I tried to warn you. They're very strict over there. Does that mean your son can never go to a waterpark."
"I really don't know, dad, but even if it did, it wouldn't kill him."

Um...I think I'd rather have the man of my dreams than a pair of shorts any old day.

Of course, as he ponders this information he randomly confronts me for the remainder of the evening.

"Why was it okay for you to wear shorts while you were dating, but it's not okay now?"
"I can wear them, hubby would rather me not and it's really not a big deal to me."
"But why didn't it bother him before?"
"It did, but he was afraid to tell me. "
"Well, what if he decides he doesn't want you to be a Christian?"
"Dad...they're shorts."
"Yes, but he has this influence over you."

You know what this means....once I DO tell them, they won't believe that it's my own decision. It will all be to please my husband or due to his influence (er, brainwashing). That makes me feel just greeeat.

"Okay, I'll drop this whole waterpark business if you promise me you'll stay a Christian."


He really said that. 'promise me you'll stay a Christian'

"yeah, Dad."
"Jesus died for your sins, you have to remember that. And you have to teach your son that. It's your responsibility that he becomes a Christian."
"I am not responsible for his choices."
"But you're responsible for teaching him. I never see you reading him Bible stories. You have to make him Christian or your husband will make him Muslim."




I have to tell them soon or I'll go mad. Our family vacay tomorrow would be one giant fight, though, if I had told them tonight.

Hmm. I wonder when it'll happen.


In other news, my grandma had hernia surgery today. All went well alhumdulillah! She is already at home. :)

Visas...or lack thereof.

Hubby's parents have been trying to come meet their grandson. They were denied a VISA back in May, when they were going to come meet our son and help their daughter with the birth of her first. They had to wait until this week to get another appointment...and they were denied again.

My dad, of course, is freaking out. If they can't come here...he realizes we'll have to go there. He also sees this as a 'see, if you go they won't let you come back!' type of deal. He's wrong of course, lol. The problem isn't KSA letting them out...it's the U.S. that won't let them in.

They talk to our son on Skype...but I really wish they could meet him. Hubby cannot leave the country until after we've filed all the immigration stuff because his visa expires the minute he leaves. This means we're stuck in the U.S. for probably a year and a half. That means that unless they do eventually get a visa, they won't meet their grandson until he's over 2. :( Even after hubby's cleared to leave, we can't go to KSA until our marriage is approved which could take...forever w/out the right connections. So, we'll probably be meeting in Bahrain or Dubai over a year and a half from now. Sounds so bleak. I want my son to feel that he's a part of both mommy's and daddy's families.

I don't even wear abayas...

But these are gorgeous! I especially like the middle two. Hubby (saudi) even says I can get by in the third one (with black hijab, instead of turquoise) in KSA when we visit (eventually...). Sooo, that gives me a reason to purchase, right? They're all from East Essence and each around $30. I could even see myself wearing the second one to work. (teaching)

I hate spending money on something I'm unsure if I'll wear, though. Especially now while I'm still not 'out' as a Muslim to my family...

ooo they're pretty, though.

I'm Too Small

So, I had been drooling over this skirt from Christa-Taylor for months...

It finally went on sale (only $5.50 off...but I -really- wanted it) so I splurged and ordered. It came today, I had been planning on wearing it next week when my husband takes me out of town for my b-day. I ripped open the package and....HUGE. I mean, it's not huge, it's a small...but I'm smaller. I could have taken at least 6 inches off the length to get it the length in the photo. Don't even ask about the waist. Grrrrr. :( I'm sending it back, thus, losing money on shipping. I'm afraid to order anything online. A lot of the sites that sell 'Muslim' clothes start at size 4, 6, or sometimes even 8. (american sizes) I wear a 2. The maxi-skirts I have have elastic waistbands which i roll 3 or 4 times to get them short enough.

The swim suit I posted as wanting earlier says their small is the same as a U.S. size 8. They don't take returns so I'm afraid to even try. It's really the only Muslim suit I could see myself wearing, though. The others just aren't me.

*Sigh* What's a petite Mulsimah to do?

I Couldn't Tell Him

I hate where I'm at in my life right now. Trapped between my family and my husband. Trapped between Christianity and Islam.

My dad was being really weird today. They (my family) notice changes in me, and they don't like them. Most often they just step around the issues like walking on eggshells...but every once in awhile, they feel their glare at my long pants is not enough, every once in awhile, they feel the need to speak their concerns.

On Sunday I had a family reunion. I wore a floor length skirt. My dad objected, "It's going to be 94 degrees!" "Uh-huh," my response. Tired of asking the same question, today he makes it a statement, today he has accepted defeat. "You don't wear shorts anymore." There is so much embedded in that statement, hatred for my submission, hatred for my husband's control over me.... "I can. I choose not to." Discussion closed. Easier for him to believe my husband is controlling than to believe I think God expects this of me.

Monday. Today. I added Arabic to my schedule for the fall semester because it's my last semester on campus. I'm on scholarship, so if I were to take Arabic after graduation, I'd be out about $700. My dad gets home from work. "Did mom tell you I changed my schedule? I don't have lunch anymore."
"What, no, she didn't tell me? When are you going to pump(breastmilk for your son)?"
"Mom will feed him babyfood and juice while I'm gone. I'll be home by 1:30, I can just eat and feed him when I get home. It's my last semester so I decided to add Arabic. It conflicted with my registered English class, so I had to choose a new one. The only one with room meets during lunch."
(getting upset) "ARABIC? Why would you take that?"
"You know I've been wanting to learn. Teaching myself obviously hasn't been working that well. (My son) will speak it, too, you know. It'd be nice to understand him."
"I just don't want you becoming Muslim. (his greatest fear) You're scaring me. I don't want you to go crazy on me."
"What does me taking Arabic even have to do with that?"
conversation ends with the above rhetorical question.

Jump to....tonight. Presently. As I'm typing. My father keeps coming back in my room and sharing another tidbit of "advice." Although his advice is not advice at all...they're commands.

I walked in my room, and my dad sheepishly followed me in. I smoothly ask "and you're in my room because...?" I can tell something big is on his mind, but instead he goes on about a babysitter for my birthday (next week) and who's driving to the amusement park this weekend. Oookay? I wait for the bombshell.
3

2

1

"There is something else I want to ask. I, I don't really know what or how I want to ask. You know you have to stay Christian, right?" (of course, father, I know I have no choice but to blindly follow your religion)
"yeah"
"And you know you can't just start thinking that being a Muslim is alright? Cause it's not. They need Jesus." (actually you need to get your focus back on God, but....)
"Yeah, Dad."
"And you're getting married (next summer, legally) for love, not just because you have a baby, right?"
"Yes, Dad" (this one is actually true)
"He still treats you good."
"Yes, Dad."
"He doesn't force you to do stuff like a Muslim? I mean, how many things can you not do that you would like to?" (hug boys (i.e. my cousins, hubby got jealous about that), wear shorts, go swimming...but it's really not due to my husband, it's due to the fact that I need to please Allah with my actions)
"Nothing, Dad."
"(looking questioningly)okay, it's just, you aren't one of them. You're an American with a voice, I want to make sure that you're being heard in your relationship. You shouldn't have to live under the oppression that women live under in Muslim countries."
(breaking the pattern) "and you know how people live in other countries how?" (by the biased news, that's how. my dad hasn't left the country since he was 12)
"Your fights with (your husband)...they aren't because he wants you to do Muslim things? They're just for normal reasons, right?"
"Yeah, Dad. Everyone fights."
"But not all the time, right?"
"No, it's not all the time. And it's normal little things."
"Okay, normal things. Like the baby, good." (uh, what?)
I continue, "You're making me uncomfortable, could you please leave me alone?" (sweetly, honestly, I wasn't being rude)

he leaves.

3 minutes later. Re-entry.
"I just have to say one more time, you can't think that being Muslim is okay. Saying that you don't need Jesus for salvation is the same as rejecting him."
"Uh-huh, Dad. You're in my room again."

Exit.

2 minutes later.
"And I'm worried about (your son). Are you still going to be able to go to (our church) once you're married, or will you always have to go to that one out of town (the one he thinks I go to every other weekend...)"
"We don't even know where we'll live yet, Dad. We both need jobs."
"Well, if you want Mom to continue to watch (your son) it'll have to be nearby..."
"We BOTH need jobs. Then we'll decide where to live."
"Well, I like (neighboring county)."
"Uh-huh."
"(your husband) could get Dave to hire him full-time after graduation." (he's working for Dave now at our university for his internship...my father also works at our university...how convenient!)
"I don't really think that's what he had in mind."
"Why? I don't want him only looking for jobs in Musim 'enclaves.'"
"He's not just looking for a job in "Muslim enclaves," he's looking for a job, period. But the one at (university) isn't what he had in mind. He wanted to work for a company."
"Alright."
"Now could you please stay out of my room? I don't want to have to lock the door on you?"

laughs as he exits

My dad also acted like if I was planning on living as a Muslim after we got married (which is actually the plan), that he wouldn't let us get married at all.

WHAT????

I hate myself for not taking the opportunity to actually tell him...he gave me the perfect opening. I just don't want to live in the hell my family will create for me for the next 10 months. My dad now throws Jesus into all conversations. My brother innocently mentioned that our grandma's been watching reruns of 'Touched by an Angel.' "I don't like that show," dad replied. "What, we always watched it?" "They don't mention Jesus. It's no good if they don't point to baptism as the key to salvation."

UGH!!

My poor father left my room in good spirits thinking he had confirmed my unshaking faith and convinced me that living nearby is necessary for our happiness and well being.

If he only knew what i was typing as he was talking. I was honestly typing this in between his interrogations.

I'm afraid God gave me this uncomfortable opening for dialogue. And I didn't take it.

I'm a chicken.




I don't know how to get past this.

Islamic Ponderings

'Allah had cursed those women who tattoo and who have themselves tattooed, those who pluck hair from their faces and those who make spaces between their teeth for beautification, changing what Allah has created.' (hadith...)

I just read a post on a different blog about the controversial issue of plucking ones' eyebrows. The above hadith was copied and pasted straight from their blog.

So, I started wondering about this. My (Muslim) SIL always gets her eyebrows threaded at the mall. I personally get mine waxed every time I get my haircut. I know, I know, I'm new to Islam, so leave he scholars to deciding what's right and wrong. WELL, I may be new to Islam, but I'm not new to God. I've loved God all my life and have always feared and worshiped Him. My understanding of God is not that He will curse me for removing a minuscule amount of hair from my face. I'll admit upfront...I've got a lot of conflicting feelings regarding the whole hadith system. In regards to my eyebrows...if it's not in the Qur'an, I'll continue to get them waxed. My husband for one would be sorely disappointed if I stopped taking care of my eyebrows and let them run amuck on my face. Am I not allowed to please my husband?

I went in search for a bit more information on this hadith...and came up with this quotation:
"And it was suggested that what is forbidden is only that which is permanent, because that is changing the creation of Allaah; as for that which is not permanent, such as kohl which used for adornment by women, that is permitted by the scholars."

And now I'm even more stumped. SO, things that are PERMANENT are forbidden. Oh, okay, so my eyebrows don't grown back every month? How is plucking your eyebrows permanent?

And speaking of changing the creation of Allah, (I'm gonna get beat up for this one) what about body piercing? Saudi Arabia, the Islamic capital of the world, pierces the ears of baby girls in the hospital shortly after birth. Um...isn't that practice even more vain than plucking ones unsightly eyebrows? My ears are not pierced. My Christian parents would not allow me to put holes in the body that God gave me. But yet Muslims are in agreement that ear piercing (for women) is allowed, but no other body piercing, Heavens no!

I can pierce my ears...but I can't wax my eyebrows? I can use kohl...but I can't wax my eyebrows?

This hadith also got me thinking about "those who make spaces between their teeth for beautification." I, and most everyone I went to school with, had braces. I personally started treatment in the fourth grade. I got my palate expanded in the 6th grade, braces put on shortly thereafter, and did not get them removed until 9th grade. My teeth were BAD, and my mouth was too narrow to hold all of them (hence, the palate expander). In addition, my wisdom teeth were extracted from my gums three years ago because there was no room for them. The bottom ones would have dissolved the roots of my back teeth, and the top one (i only had 3) was blocking my sinus cavity.

So am I (and most everyone I know) cursed for getting braces?

I feel guilty typing these things 'out loud.' I fear that I'm a bad Muslim for questioning so much and coming to conclusions contrary to those of respected scholars.

Again and again I hear "Islam is all about taking the middle ground." If this is true, though, why are there such extreme rulings on such mundane matters as these?

Picture Post

Here are some things I see in my day to day life:

My wonderful son, Mash'Allah!


PICTURE DELETED FOR PRIVACY

The prayer rug my in-laws sent me from KSA,
My closet complete with tons of hijabs.
This thing on the wall that I can't read...all I know is it says Alhumdulillah
My drawer with two mishmars from KSA, and hand-me down prayer garment from my SIL,
My beautiful jalabiya that my MIL bought for me
a close up of the detail.
I love the jalabiya but don't have anywhere to wear it. I asked my husband where people wear these things and he said no where really. What? Then why do they sell them? He eventually said that he thinks women wear them to weddings. Well, I don't think I'll be attending any Arab or Muslim weddings soon so it will stay in the closet. I try it on sometimes just for fun, though.

Bilingual Children

My husband is Saudi, so Arabic is his first language. I am -trying- to learn Arabic and have recently gotten more serious about it. I know how to read and write the alphabet, but without any vocabulary that really doesn't do me a whole lot of good.

We want our son (9 months old presently) to be bilingual Arabic/English. There is NO Arabic speaking community or school programs around here, though, so it's all on us. AND my husband's at work all day so a lot of the responsibility to teach our son goes to me....but I don't know Arabic! How can I teach my son a language I do not know?

It's very important to my husband because his mom doesn't speak English, and he feels that he can better say what he wants in Arabic, so he wants our son to be able to speak his childhood language. It's important to me, too, because it will help him learn about Islam, and I think it's super important for him to cherish his arab culture while growing up in America. (also, it really is beneficial for children to be bilingual...believe me, I've studied it extensively in college for my minor)

Has anybody else tried or succeeded in raising a bilingual child? Is anyone planning to raise their (future) children bilingual?

I'm reading a book called "Raising a Bilingual Child," and it keeps stressing the importance of making the minority language accessible to children. For this reason I've bought a lot of Arabic children's books, flashcards, and workbooks. I ordered a lot yesterday from online-Islamic-store.com.

Here are the items I ordered for my son:

An Arabic alphabet floor puzzle,
Arabic alphabet/word flash cards,

An Arabic workbook,

Magnetic Arabic letters (that have ALL forms of each letter which is GREAT),and another Arabic writing workbook.


And I bought the following for myself from the same site:
Books on Reverts (I eat these stories up),and an Arabic book for me.My dad and sister have complained to me about how I buy my son only Arabic books and flashcards (we have hundreds of English children's books at home from my childhood). I try to explain that he will learn English AT SCHOOL and simply because it is the community language. Arabic has to always be a constant effort for him to feel comfortable. They drive me nuts. They complain about Islam, as I understand because they're Christian, but what do they have against the Arabic language? I have no doubt that my son will speak, read, and write English. But with Arabic it all depends on mine and hubby's effort to implement it in our lives.

Annoyed

Has anyone besides me done a search for "Islam" on any online site that sells books?

I'm sure I'm not the only one. I search for Islam and end up with a bunch of books written by a) westerners looking to make a buck by feeding the Islamaphobes just what they want to hear or b) "Islamic Extremists" turned Christian or atheist who are explaining why their religion is so wrong and an 'enemy to the west' (when they were never correctly practicing their religion in the first place, so probably aren't qualified to write a book about it).

To find a valid book on Islam written by an Imam or Sheik you have to first search through pages and pages of pure blasphemous filth.

The new trend seems to be books on the "endtimes." Everyone is soo obsessed with prophesying the end times and the signs are all there and blah di blah di blah. Yes, there will be a judgment day. BUT, if God wanted us to know when it was, He would have told us. We can watch for signs, we can read our books, but I don't think this is what God wants. I think God wants us to LIVE our lives. Accept death when it comes, but we must enjoy the time that God has given us. Our time on this earth is a gift and not one that we should wish away!

Just by reading book reviews on Amazon I have learned that:
- the Prophet Muhammad mandated a death sentence for all apostates of Islam
- Islam's awaited Messiah (Imam Al-Mahdi) is the anti-Christ mentioned in the Christian Bible
- Islamic Jihad = violence and terrorism
- Qur'an is a historical record written by humans from an Arab and tribal perspective
and of course...
- Islam oppresses women

Astaghfirullah for even repeating these lies!

Soooo, if I can get this much from just reading reviews, what do you think the people eating up these books believe about Islam?

Honestly, reading the reviews makes me sick. It makes me want to start a religious debate on the amazon site. People are MAKING MONEY off of BASHING ISLAM. They may not even truly believe everything they write...(I certainly hope they aren't that paranoid)...but they'll even sell out God to make a buck it seems.

Yes, the anti-christ will worship one God alone, pray 5 times a day, fast, give to charity...WAIT a minute, that sounds like what CHRIST did, wouldn't we be looking for different qualities in the ANTI-christ?

The Christian books written on Islam are, of course, incorrect. But at least sometimes the author's intentions are noble. (you know, save the Muslims! they need Jesus! etc.) They truly want to help us. BUT, some of them are not so innocent. Some of them think that by making Islam look bad and pointing out so-called 'contradictions' in the Qur'an, that somehow making one religion (islam) look bad makes the other (christianity) true.

I can't stand it. I've ranted long enough, I know. I'm just so disgusted at the naivity of people. What's worse, is they believe they're 'well read, and knowledgeable' about Islam.

Ramadan

I don't think I'll be fasting this Ramadan because I'm still breastfeeding. I asked on a Muslim forum on parenting.com about this and got very mixed reviews. Some women noticed their milk supply drying within 3 days, others fasted the whole month without any problems. My son eats solids (at most) once a day so he is still very dependent upon me for most all of his nutritional needs. Scholars agree that a woman can make up her fasts after weaning (but before the next Ramadan). This is fine if I only breastfeed a year, but what if I chose to breastfeed the full two years? I would not be able to make it up before the next Ramadan, and I'd miss the next one as well...? I'm not too worried about this just yet, honestly I'm comfortable with stopping at or around one year. (hubby on the other hand thinks since the Qur'an says 2 years, I should shoot for two. I tried to explain that scholars say this is beneficial and recommended, but really two years was mentioned because that's the cut off point. Alas, he is stubborn. Once he starts lactating then we can have this discussion, you think? ;)

Anyway, just my thoughts on Ramadan. I feel like a slacker since this is my first one as a Muslim and I am not participating in full. I will still focus on my relationship with God, though, read the Qur'an, and make a more conscious effort to be charitable. I will also fast a day here or there. We'll see how it goes before determining how often.

Has anybody else not fasted while breastfeeding?

Out. Of. Shape...and hijab worries

I haven't seriously exercised since I was around 2 months pregnant. I've done the occasional dance aerobics DVD, but never on a routine basis. Just when I have time and feel like it.

Soooo, what made me think I could ride my bike 15 miles today? Really now, what?

My (extended) family is a bit unique. They really enjoy doing things together. Every summer they have a bike ride. I've only gone once before (it's mainly my third cousins...one of them is also my best friend, so that's why I hang with their crowd, lol). It was two summers ago. Out of all of the bikers I was the only one that wrecked. Sliced up my hand pretty bad and had over 9 more miles to ride before I had any chance to wash it out. Needless to say, the healing process was hindered by all of the dirt stuck in it.

Last summer I couldn't go (or chose not to) because I was around 5 months pregnant. Didn't feel that it'd be a great idea.

But this summer I was more than ready to get back on the road. I called my brother today from my husband's apartment asking if anything fun was happening back home. He informed me that the bike ride would be today. Hubby was taking care of new students anyway, so I quickly loaded up the baby and headed for home. We threw our bikes in the back of my brother's pick-up and headed to our mom's cousins house. Once there it was bike city. There were over 20 of us there, although with people dropping out and switching bikes and such I think the most ever riding at one time was 15. We left our cousins' with our goal being the Tastee Freeze about 8 miles away. (yes, we exercise and then eat ice cream) Some of my cousins opted to run this year (ewww, not my thing).

Anyway, right from the get go I was lagging. At one point I could only see two people ahead of me in the distance, one, a fourth grader, the other my age (my BFF Kathy). Kathy went straight but the fourth grader turned! I didn't know who to follow...I chose the fourth grader, lol. (If you knew how directionally challenged Kathy is, believe me, you'd do the same). Luckily I chose right and arrived at the Tastee Freeze shortly after the majority of the group. (Katy arrived later from a different direction, of course)

After enjoying our ice cream it was time to hit the road again for the return trip. I got left behind within the first 3 miles (out of 8). I refused to give up, though, and pushed on knowing they'd make fun of me when I got back so much later than them. I pushed on. And pushed on. And waited for death. And pushed on....

And got back to the claps and cheers of my cousins. How sweet. :/

Regardless of riding by myself for the majority of the trip, I was very proud and had a good time. Until now, that is. Now that I've been sitting around the house...my legs HURT SO BAD. Even sitting still hurts.

I am tiny, i'm not bragging, just stating the facts. 5'2", 100 lbs. To the naked eye I look fit as a fiddle....ha. ha. ha. I am so uncomfortable in my own body right now. My fun day that I was so looking forward to ends with me pledging to never walk again, lol.

Just wanted to share my day with you ladies. And if you're wondering, no, I did not wear hijab. None of them know about my conversion/reversion. I wore capris (loose, mid shin length) and an old t-shirt (also loose). My cousins made a big deal out of my capris asking 'wouldn't i be hot?' Well yeah, but I'd be hot in anything riding for 15 miles. They also made fun of how white my legs are. They are white because I have only worn pants this summer (except for days like today). They don't know this, though, and just think I'm strangely albino.

While riding I thought, how would this be in hijab? Today was niiice outside. Of course exercising so hard makes you hot, but there was a breeze and I think I could have survived in light longsleeves and pants. Hijab, though, I just can't imagine my hair being plastered against my head with sweat. I guess it's not a whole lot different than wearing a helmet or baseball cap. But I don't wear helmets or baseball caps, lol, so all I'm familiar with is the delightful breeze blowing through my hair. I'll miss it. How do you full time hijabis stay active, especially outdoors in the summer, in hijab?

I hope hubby and I can get a secluded home, or at least a secluded yard, so that i can still enjoy the sun on my skin and the wind in my hair. I like the idea of hijab and it's easy to implement when shopping, or at a museum, or in class, or teaching (my future profession). But outdoors on hot days? Like when you visit a state park for hiking and canoeing (LOVE IT), how do you cope?

It's the Weirdest Thing

I have eczema on my hands. They are dry and itchy and just plain uncomfortable.

I don't expect you to care about that, though, lol, I'm just trying to lead in to my story.

Anyway, my hands were dry and itchy, and I'm here at my husbands apartment. I have a big black bag that I bring with me every weekend. It was actually my competition bag from high school dance team. Still has all my old team photo keychains hanging off of it. Anyway, this particular bag is the bag I packed for the hospital when I had my son. (or well, I started to pack it, but he came early, so...) ANYWAY, (i could apparently type one million different stories about this same bag) I had a bottle of lotion in the bag. I had it packed for the hospital. While at the hospital I used this lotion all day, everyday. My son was in the NICU, as I've mentioned before, and to get in the NICU you have to first wash your hands for 3 minutes. Only after witnessing you wash would the nurses let you in. And then, they'd have me change my son's diaper. And then I'd have to wash my hands again.

My hands were dry, nasty monstrosities because of all this excessive washing, thus, the overuse of the lotion.

I had not used this lotion since the hospital. But, my eczema felt dry and itchy, so I went to my old faithful bag. I put on my lotion thinking, well, nothing. But then I smelled it. I smelled it and I was back in the hospital. I was back in the hospital feeling one million different emotions: exhaustion, elation, depression, and the overwhelming need to protect. All this was bottled up in that lotion, zipped up in that bag, for almost 9 whole months.

I honestly feel overwhelmed right now. Like I'm going to cry. I'm so happy that my son's here sitting next to me kicking me in the side instead of dependent upon oxygen and a feeding tube. Mash'Allah he is the best thing that's ever happened to me and the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I love watching him grow and discover (today's discovery is his tongue).

I'm glad my hands are dry and itchy. I'm glad I'm chronically plagued with eczema. I'm glad I got this unexpected reminder just from smelling some lotion.

More than anything, I'm glad God chose me to be the mother of this amazing baby boy.