Modesty

For awhile I was leaning more towards the modesty is relative argument, but after thinking more about the issue, I now believe that rules regarding modesty should be universal.

Just because wearing a one piece bathing suit on the beach is regarded as modest, doesn't mean it is. If it is wrong to walk around in your underwear, then is it not wrong to walk around in a bikini? Being modest in the west means something different to everyone. My sister thinks she is modest in her short, short dresses as long as she has a cami underneath to cover her cleavage. I on the other hand, don't feel modest unless nothing but my feet and wrists/hands, face (and hair, but I'm trying to change that) are showing. Then there are those in between, considered modest by the general public, who wear knee length shorts and skirts and short sleeve tops. There's a whole spectrum to modesty and to say that it's relative, I've come to decide, means to throw out all guidelines from God and come up with what you think is better.

The perception of what is modest has changed in the west over the last 100+ years, but that doesn't mean it SHOULD have. That does not mean God approves of the shift towards shorter skirts and lower tops. When my aunt was in high school, girls HAD to wear skirts and could not wear pants. Now, girls are almost wearing, well, nothing. There was a day when even western women would die at the thought of showing even the slightest bit of their ankle...is it really so liberating to only die at the thought of showing one's crotch?

I'm all for pants, don't get me wrong, but it's like once the feminists got the ball rolling, they forgot to stop the ball from falling off the edge of a cliff.

While outside in the 85+ degree heat, in April mind you...summer's going to suck, I thought, gee I wish I could wear short sleeves. I admit, I glanced around, saw no one in sight, pushed my sleeves up and pulled my maxi skirt to my knees. I didn't feel immodest. Because I've been raised to think that this behavior is okay. I'm not going to lie...I hate wearing long sleeves in the summer. The pants and long skirts don't bother me so much, because I can see the logic in covering our legs, but the sleeves just aren't clicking. I wore short sleeves today in front of my aunt's husband and did not feel ashamed. I've been raised with him as my "uncle," and it's weird to suddenly think that I have to fully cover in front of him.

To base my perception of modesty on what I feel is comfortable or fun would be to ignore God's commands and replace them with my own, though. So I'm constantly trying to improve my dress, and even more importantly, my attitude toward said dress.

I feel in reality there is little difference in this, a girl (like myself) raised to believe immodesty is modest enough, and a child raised to think drinking alcohol is acceptable, as is getting drunk at parties.

If modesty is relative...is drinking now, too? Where do we draw the line? It's the norm to pray once or twice a day here, or even not at all. So is prayer relative...do we not pray five times, but just three as a kind of happy middle? More prayer than the norm, but not so much as to completely stand out?

Even I realize my examples may be a bit over the top. Nobody argues about prayer or alcohol relativity. But that's just it. Why? Why can we tweak the rules in some areas but not others?

I think we can not tweak any of the rules. Alcohol is not okay in moderation. Lowering your moral standards in regards to dress or any other behavior is not okay just because the culture claims it is.

I think that the abaya and niqab are cultural, and that there are other ways of being modest. I believe the amount of coverage necessary is universal, though. So whether you cover with a maxi dress and cardigan, an abaya, or an empty potato sack, I suggest we all strive to start covering what Allah/God commanded of us, regardless of when the commandment was received.

Listen to This!

I don't agree with all of the "sheika's" teachings...but this was a beautiful program with such a strong message of tolerance and love. I would especially recommend it to reverts from a Christian background or those of you on the line between Christianity and Islam.

Here is the link where you can listen to it: http://insideislam.wisc.edu/chronological-listing.htm#Saldana . I downloaded the whole inside Islam podcast on my ipod ages ago.

Enjoy!

Dear Anonymous,

Contrary to popular belief, no, I do not actually care what you think about me, my life choices, or how I practice my faith.

Thank you for showing the intolerant, judgmental side of religion that we all know and love so well, though. It's good to have mixed reviews.

Becoming Muslim does not happen overnight. I studied for a long time before taking my shahada, but that does not mean I went from practicing Christian to perfect Muslim overnight.

At the moment I still mix pieces of both together quite often. I don't plan on doing this forever, nor do I try to justify my actions. If you had read carefully, you would have seen in my post on church how the practices that I used to love now sicken me.

I do not pretend to be a perfect Muslim. I knew what taking my shahada that that was only the beginning of the journey, not the end. Yes, there are others who postpone the shahada until they are "better prepared" than me. Ready to pray, ready to cover, and ready to severe ties with the church that raised them. I am not ready for all of those things. I'm working on them, of course!, but I'm not "there." I truly believe that it would be more sinful for me to not take my shahada and deny that I am Muslim even to myself rather than take my shahada knowing full well that I have a long way to go.

Am I a hypocrite? Of course. I truly believe we all are at times...that's what it means to be human. Am I a Christian for Christians and a Muslim for Muslims? No. I'm a Muslim at all times, although sometimes I don't publicly proclaim it from the rooftops (or the top of my head, haha). To be Muslim is to submit to God. It is a decision that must work from the inside and then move outwards.

I have never pretended to be at the end of my religious journey. You can judge me at my present stage as much as you'd like. That does not make you God. That does not mean you know my intentions or my heart.

How's it feel to be perfect? You must know... I think it'd be mighty lonely up on that pedestal.

Hijab Development

More to follow. I've still got homework and it's 12:50. But I think I'm "getting there."

Reflections on Church

---rough post. little time. orignially written as a comment to Ellen.---

It's INCREDIBLY uncomfortable. All of the things I didn't realize until conversion. At first I truly thought I could go and worship God in my own way...but out of 6 songs, maybe one, MAYBE one, mentioned God alone. Also, communion...I still take it and feel sick every time. Instead of praying the blessing prayer, I pray that God will forgive me and know that I am taking it as I would any old grape juice and bread.

My preacher's really conservative and preaches a strict, narrow path to heaven that I can't agree with at all. If he would preach more about Jesus' teachings on love and charity and less about how those who "deny the cross" are hell-bound...maybe I could take something useful from a sermon or two.

I went this morning and felt like I stood out. First, all of the girls/women anywhere near my age had on cute springy/summery -short- dresses with no sleeves, etc. I was dressed more like the 40+ set in my white maxi skirt and long sleeve teal top. Second, I feel it is quite apparent that I don't generally sing the songs, and that I leave out certain words of some songs EVERY WEEK (For instance, I'll sing "Praise Father" but leave out "son and holy ghost" and then I'll chime in again on "Amen.") I used to take great pride in my singing voice at church (need a lesson in humility, eh?) and everyone could see my joy when singing (what I thought) were God's praises. Now I'm silent for most of the service. Silent through the worship of Jesus, and silent through the sermon condemning me to Hell.

Despite all of this, I still consider it "my church." I grew up there. The people there are my family (literally for a good chunk of them). I don't know how to leave. It's not just my parents keeping me there. It's my Sunday school teachers from when I was younger, it's my cousins, my grandmas. I attended or taught Bible school there every summer since I was born.

Ugh. It's a big deal for me. I hate going. And I hate that I hate something I use to love. I'm not handling this well.