For awhile I was leaning more towards the modesty is relative argument, but after thinking more about the issue, I now believe that rules regarding modesty should be universal.
Just because wearing a one piece bathing suit on the beach is regarded as modest, doesn't mean it is. If it is wrong to walk around in your underwear, then is it not wrong to walk around in a bikini? Being modest in the west means something different to everyone. My sister thinks she is modest in her short, short dresses as long as she has a cami underneath to cover her cleavage. I on the other hand, don't feel modest unless nothing but my feet and wrists/hands, face (and hair, but I'm trying to change that) are showing. Then there are those in between, considered modest by the general public, who wear knee length shorts and skirts and short sleeve tops. There's a whole spectrum to modesty and to say that it's relative, I've come to decide, means to throw out all guidelines from God and come up with what you think is better.
The perception of what is modest has changed in the west over the last 100+ years, but that doesn't mean it SHOULD have. That does not mean God approves of the shift towards shorter skirts and lower tops. When my aunt was in high school, girls HAD to wear skirts and could not wear pants. Now, girls are almost wearing, well, nothing. There was a day when even western women would die at the thought of showing even the slightest bit of their ankle...is it really so liberating to only die at the thought of showing one's crotch?
I'm all for pants, don't get me wrong, but it's like once the feminists got the ball rolling, they forgot to stop the ball from falling off the edge of a cliff.
While outside in the 85+ degree heat, in April mind you...summer's going to suck, I thought, gee I wish I could wear short sleeves. I admit, I glanced around, saw no one in sight, pushed my sleeves up and pulled my maxi skirt to my knees. I didn't feel immodest. Because I've been raised to think that this behavior is okay. I'm not going to lie...I hate wearing long sleeves in the summer. The pants and long skirts don't bother me so much, because I can see the logic in covering our legs, but the sleeves just aren't clicking. I wore short sleeves today in front of my aunt's husband and did not feel ashamed. I've been raised with him as my "uncle," and it's weird to suddenly think that I have to fully cover in front of him.
To base my perception of modesty on what I feel is comfortable or fun would be to ignore God's commands and replace them with my own, though. So I'm constantly trying to improve my dress, and even more importantly, my attitude toward said dress.
I feel in reality there is little difference in this, a girl (like myself) raised to believe immodesty is modest enough, and a child raised to think drinking alcohol is acceptable, as is getting drunk at parties.
If modesty is relative...is drinking now, too? Where do we draw the line? It's the norm to pray once or twice a day here, or even not at all. So is prayer relative...do we not pray five times, but just three as a kind of happy middle? More prayer than the norm, but not so much as to completely stand out?
Even I realize my examples may be a bit over the top. Nobody argues about prayer or alcohol relativity. But that's just it. Why? Why can we tweak the rules in some areas but not others?
I think we can not tweak any of the rules. Alcohol is not okay in moderation. Lowering your moral standards in regards to dress or any other behavior is not okay just because the culture claims it is.
I think that the abaya and niqab are cultural, and that there are other ways of being modest. I believe the amount of coverage necessary is universal, though. So whether you cover with a maxi dress and cardigan, an abaya, or an empty potato sack, I suggest we all strive to start covering what Allah/God commanded of us, regardless of when the commandment was received.
12 comments:
just going to throw something into the mix. Maybe 3/4 length sleeves are suitable. Especially in certain environments where hygiene is important such as hospitals. my rule is as long as possible but a minimum of elbows covered! I know girls that do nursing HAVE to pull there sleeves up with patients for hygiene.
and actually, unless the trousers are "skinny" they are probably more modest than skirts you can buy on the high street. this is due to even maxi-skirts tend to be see through in certain lights!
I am trying to find a pair of trousers that are pleated at the front and look like a skirt, they were in fashion about 8 years or so ago!
Salam sister, i am a revert in Australia, for me when i first became a muslim I wore hijab seven days after because i felt uncomfortable, then when i had an abaya brought for me from saudi i wore my abaya, i then covered my face soon after, it is what i wear now, in the 40 degree heat, from a girl who used to do everything u wrote about to being completely covered including me feet, only things u can see is my eyes and hands. And i feel comfortable, i do not like to be uncovered in front of any man anymore. i think everyones degree of mdesty comes from their eeman(faith) in Allah
I have quite a similar view of this. I don't think that hijab is relative, more so that what hijab is to us is relative. Which is pretty much what you're saying lol.
And it was interesting to read the comparison between alcohol, prayer and hijab - I haven't seen those examples before tbh and didn't even realise the similarities between them - all are so important.
Modesty might be relative to culture. But hijab...not really. They really are two different things huh?
mashaAllah sister, very well said!!!!
I agree. Elizabeth's comment is interesting to me as well. From what I know, the word yad (hand) can refer to the arm all the way up to the elbow in certain contexts. It makes sense, especially in agricultural communities, for a woman to have slightly shortened sleeves to make it possible for her to do farm labor.
It was nice to read your views on this. Good thoughts.
Interesting post!
I think that modesty *is* relative. Afterall, what is considered modest here in Canada is not considered modest in Saudi... So it's hard to argue that it's not relative.
But arguing that hijab is not relative makes total sense. I kind of see there being a basic zone of coverage that is necessary. And that doesn't vary from place to place.
@ Candice - I totally agree with you. I may not have worded it exactly the same, but modesty IS relative, (for example a modest Christian woman would never wear short shorts and a low cut tank, but might very well be seen in a one piece suit at the beach...she fits her level of coverage to the situation) but I personally don't think it SHOULD be. Of course those with no religious conviction, or one that differs from my own in this area, won't agree, which is why I use the word "should." As in, in a perfect world everybody would agree on what is appropriate when and where.
Since I've been raised in a society and family where it IS modest to wear burmuda shorts and a t-shirt, it's taken a lot of adjusting to justify wearing long sleeves and such in the summer for me. Whereas, were I raised in KSA, I might cringe were my forearm to show.
With that being said, I think the way I was raised was flawed in this respect. I was raised to think and behave in ways not appropriate in the sight of Allah (swt), and now must adjust MYSELF to fit His commands, not adjust the commands to fit my own personal view.
I think instead of clearing that up, I may have just muddled it more. I hope you get the gist of what I'm saying!
Modesty is relative according to culture and situation in most societies. The rules regarding modesty/hijab, though, are not to be modified according to culture, although they can be relaxed in the case of necessity (hospitalization, hazardous jobs, etc.). I also believe God expected this same level of modesty from Jews and Christians but both have strayed from His high standards.
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I'm almost sixteen and I've been wearing hijab for almost 9 months now. And I'm not gonna lie, I'm really not strict about it at all. I'll wear 3/4 sleeves and mid-calf length skirts/capris/dresses, and I don't mind if my neck is not covered. It's a neck, and there is nothing remotely beautiful, feminine or sensual about it. And I don't have a problem with leggings as long as the skirt/dress I'm wearing them with is at least knee lengthish. And a lot of the time, my hair is covered with a hat rather than an actual scarf. As of right now I don't see anything wrong with that--as I said, I'm young--also I don't believe that ankles, forearms, or necks are the "feminine ornaments" God tells us He wants us to cover.
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