I'm celebrating it culturally and secularly, but for the first year am not celebrating it for it's religious significance (in Christianity).
It hurts to hear Christmas music and force myself to stop singing along. I still like looking at Christmas lights, and I still think our Christmas tree with all of the Hallmark ornaments from my grandmother is the coolest in town.
I bought gifts for my son, my parents, my sister, my brother, my grandparents, and my husband. I loooove finding the perfect gift for someone. And whether I'm Christian or not, I still see the value in giving and showing loved ones that I care! (of course)
I've read different opinions online. That Christmas is an "innovation" and should not be celebrated, or that if one's family is Christian it is okay to celebrate because it is a time for family.
I'm just wondering about some of your opinions. Are any of you (reverts or semi-reverts) celebrating? Do you have reservations or are you going all out?
I'm fully aware that some of you will disagree with me 100%. Feel free to share your thoughts. We're all entitled to have an opinion.
16 comments:
I don't celebrate. I never have, even before i was Muslim, so i never felt left out or the need to celebrate. But when i moved in with my aunt, i was surrounded by family (catholic) who do celebrate. I personally didn't sing and all that like you, and everyone knew i wasn't celebrating so i guess thats the difference, but i still ate and still exchanged gifts. i wasn't really practicing at the time though. I do believe its haraam to celebrate (and i think anyone who says its not is full of it) but i understand what you are going through and the reasons/way you are going to be participating. The only thing that kid of worries me is your son might not ever fully understand that you are not suppose to celebrate. Would you explain things to him, or let him believe in Santa?
I always wondered this...does your son have his own room or share rooms with you? I always picture you on the computer with him behind you sleeping. idk, so weird LOL but yeahhh just wondering.
Right now my son's too young to understand what's going on with Christmas anyway, so I'm not very concerned about it this year. Honestly I'll just have to see how things develop, but I have no intention of teaching him to believe in Santa Claus. It's cute when they're little (my 4 year old cousin is SO excited), but when you find out it's not true it's a real let down, and can sometimes cause a loss of trust in your parents.
So I personally am not planning on pushing the Santa idea. I don't really understand why we do it in the first place....you're going to get presents anyway, why claim they're from some man who broke into the house in the middle of the night?
Once he's school aged I hope we're in a more Muslim environment (Islamic school would be helpful) so that the Santa issue doesn't come up. I don't want my son to be the reason some first grader goes home crying about the non-existence of Santa.
Next Christmas we will no longer be living with my parents, and he will be mature enough (I think) to understand, so I will try to explain the grandma and grandpa celebrate Christmas and that it is part of mommy's culture, but that we're Muslim so we have different holidays. I'll try to transition the Christmas gifts from me into Eid gifts, but still allow the grandparents to get him gifts on Dec. 25th.
The one thing I'm having a hard time letting go of is a Christmas tree. I 'technically' know it'd be best to just never put one up once I move out, but I have all of my ornaments from my grandmother and I feel I'd be doing a disservice to her if they were never used again. None are religious, many of them are Disney or book characters that I like. My husband says a small tree would be fine, because he knows it's my culture and something that's always been special for me. I love that he's open to letting me interpret this my own way in my own time, but I also somewhat feel like I'm prolonging the inevitable.
Do people decorate for Eid? I've always loved decorating for the holidays and it's hard to let go.
And to answer your question, my son does not share a room with me. I share a room with my sister. My son sleeps in the dining room. :) We're a bit pressed for space, it seems!
Also, I want to thank you for your honest opinion on my post. I'm glad that you didn't sugarcoat it to please me. I -may- be defending myself for things I know are questionable, I won't deny it. BUT, I have to be honest with my feelings and right now i want to celebrate Christmas. To say otherwise would be a lie to myself, to my readers, and to God.
I'm definitely not ok with the Santa thing. Our parents never taught us that junk growing up. My little bro was the kid in kindergarten that told the other kids Santa was fake :-).
I haven't celebrated since I got married, although I do still send a gift to my mom and to my aunt. They don't send anything to me though, which is cool, but they also don't send any Eid cards or anything either. I still think that Christmas lights are pretty, and that the decorated trees look nice ... but we don't have our own tree at home.
I haven't taken and I'm not taking my girls to any "Christmas-themed" kid activities, I think it'll just confuse them. We're sticking with the cool gifts for the 2 Eids, so InshaAllah they will view Eid as a special time.
My situation is a little different though, since we don't live close to my family and aren't invited to my parents house for anything we don't have to worry about Christmas discussions.
I think some people decorate for Eid, that's my plan for future Eids that we're at home for. Like put up banners, balloons and heck yes, lights. ;)
I think it might be easier for you to cut down on Christmas things gradually, so you can adjust. It's hard when it's such a part of your childhood and your memories.
my dad converted to Islam before i was born, and i was raised as a muslim. and we always celebrated christmas, not that it has anything to do with religion but it seems that my parents liked celebrating everything and go overboard :)
i have fond memories of sitting under the tree and looking at the lights, i also remember my mum colouring easter eggs and at the same time they did do the muslim holidays the 2 eids i used to have new clothes every day of the eid. and they never made me believe in santa or the easter bunny, so i knew they did not exsist but i was not allowed to tell my cousins (from my dad's side)
now I have kids of my own and i live in Saudi Arabia and these things are frowned upon we hardly celebrate anything at all.
and part of me really feels bad for my kids. i feel like they are missing out. it is fun to celebrate and you are not harming anyone maybe we should just celebrate holidays for the sake of being happy. for the feeling of joy it gives.
I think Christmas (or any other occasion) is just what it is to you as an individual. For me it's a time with family and I can't see what the problem is with it. People can say it's wrong because of the pagan origins or even the Christian significance, but if it isn't about that for an individual, then to me that's irrelevant.
Salam
I think its a give and take. I know a lot of my sunnifriends who refuse to go into a church or even say merry christmas, but in my view if we dont understand those habits and dont visit their churchges, how can we expect them to visit our mosques?
I think you should make a difference between the lie of christmas and the other parts of a family getting together and celebrating our Prophet Jesus.
If you keep up the lie of Santa Clause, then i think your doing wrong, cause thats keeping up a lie, if you though celebrate the birth of Jesus, a Prophet, then there is no wrong in my view in it.
_Having fun, meeting family, eating, giving presents and taking gifts shouldnt be a problem, the problem arises when its to uphold a lie..
Nikki - Im developing a post on this myself. I'm having a really hard time with the fact that this might be my last Christmas tree. But there are ways to bring some of the things you liked about Christmas into Eid, just not the tree of course. I personally plan to continue to celebrate Christmas for various reasons, not all having to do with me.
its about finding a balance and what Christmas NOW means to you. But don't stop celebrating all together, it will make your life too hard with your family. I know if I stopped coming home for Christmas it would be grounds for being disowned.
Good luck hon. I'll post some suggestions soon on what to do with Christmas and how to take some things you love about Christmas and bring them to Eid.
I dont celebrate although my family do.
Alhumdilah Eid is a bigger deal for me ,
I have Eid decorations and we give presents to each other so I dont really miss christmas as Eids x2 a year :) hehe twice the fun,
I spoke to many scholars, imams and various shaykhs they all say "no" to celebrating christ mas whether that be culturally or religiously. I agree with them. Although I no some people find it difficult to let go of christ mas and the festivness about it.Its part of becoming muslim and leaving christanity behind.
Are both you and your husband converts to Islam?
Hi Nikki!
Yes, my husband and I still celebrate Christmas with my family. It is so obviously a cultural celebration in my family though, so I think that makes it easier. My father is an Atheist, actually, and noone in my family goes to church or anything, but we all celebrate Christmas.
There is no praying or any of that, purely eating, exchanging presents, and socializing..
I think this makes it really easy for my husband and I because there is no talk of Jesus or what Christmas signifies.
I think I will always celebrate Christmas with my family, and I will raise my children celebrating it also, because for my family it really is a non-religious thing.
As for Eid, we like to exchange a couple gifts, and it is customary for children to get money from adults to make it a special day for them. Many people also decorate with lights for Eid :)
I want my children to celebrate Eid as a religious holiday, and Christmas as a cultural/American holiday. In my case this is the truth and not a contradiction. In a religiously Christian families celebration, I can see how it might be problematic.
You just have to get creative :)
I feel it's OK to celebrate Christmas as long as it means nothing unislmaic to you. It would be ridiculous for Muslims with no Christian ties to start celebrating Christmas even if they don't have any unislamic reasons for it... Because it's bound to make Muslims confused and bound to create something unislamic (like a new tradition).
So I believe it's OK to celebrate as long as it's nothing unislamic, but of course, whatever negative consequence happens from that is on the person. So I guess I'm saying it's not recommended and needs to be done "with care".
That's why I agree that it's OK for new converts who are really doing more good by not alienating their families than bad (bad influence on the Muslim community).
I'm trying to let go of Christmas and luckily for me I guess, it was never a really big thing... I'm not crazy on presents but I love the decorations and my family puts them up. I am not at all sad that I don't have any decorations at my house (there are some at my parents' and it's enough for me!). My mom put them up throughout my childhood but always hated to so I guess it rubbed off on me. And we normally do the gifts exchange on New Year's Eve anyway...
So I'm taking it cool about phasing it out of my life.
@ Ghada Al-Amin - I am a convert/revert as of June of this year. My husband of 2+ years was born and raised Muslim in Saudi Arabia. We met at University and through my attempts to prove Islam wrong to him, I proved it right to myself!
Considering the amount of bida in Islam as it is...the very unIslamic practices that are passed off as Islamic..I hardly think celebrating Christmas would rank all that high on the haram scale.
Muslims can force girls to marry against their will, prevent females from divorcing or keeping their children with them, force them to accept polygamy and and and...but celebrating a holiday in which families try to mend past grievances and come together and people in general try to behave and be charitable (even if just for a short time)and and and...THATS whats haram?
Hypocrisy much?
btw nice blog...
Salaam sis...
I can completely understand where you are coming from. I'm a new revert as well, since March, alhamdulilah. It is hard...I used to go Christmas caroling (when I was younger); and I still love the songs. I also love having a real tree...they smell so nice, and looks so beautiful when it's decorated and lit up. I haven't really celebrated Christmas in a religious sense for a few years, as I was sorta anti-religion for a while. But I still celebrated with family and with a tree and gifts and music...just had no religious aspect for me. I know that celebrating Christmas is "haram"...but it is hard for me to give up. I am living with my mom and step-dad and brother, and they are all Christian, so they will be putting up a tree and exchanging gifts...and I will still participate on a small level. I just pray that Allah (SWT) is understanding and forgive me, as I try to navigate this most difficult part of the transition of becoming Muslim.
I'll leave you with the best advice I've ever been given: The Qur'an was revealed to Prophet Muhammad (SAW) over the course of 23 years. If he, and his companions, were not expected to learn and implement every aspect of the Qur'an overnight, then surely, neither are we, as new reverts.
May Allah (SWT) continue to guide you sis, and make things easy for you, Ameen.
Salaam,
Aakifah
Salam sis,
I'm new to your blog - wanted to weigh in on the Christmas issue as a revert myself. Also, as a side note, it looks like we came to Islam in the same way; I was trying to convert my Saudi to Christianity and ended up being the one converting to Islam! He was completely oblivious to most of the process though; I kept my thought process to myself until the very end, just in case I changed my mind in the end, and didn't want to close the door to him ever converting, lol. When I finally told him, he was really shocked, then suspicious, then cautious... then he finally believed me. :)
Anyway, Christmas: it was my favorite holiday ever, and after converting, all the 'magic' that surrounded it immediately faded. I don't want it back - it's based on illusion, fairytales, and pagan religions. I still celebrate it with my family though, and give them presents too. I see it as a nice time to get together with everyone and show our love for each other. :)
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