So, I met my husband's mother, brother, and youngest sister today. I had already met his other sister previously (we've lived close to one another for 3 years now and are pretty close) as well as his father (he stayed with us for over a month last summer). I kind of thought that the meeting of my son and his grandmother would have been more touching than it was. I mean, he's 2 1/2, so was more into the toys than the people, and my MIL was SUPER excited...it's just I thought there'd be more tears, and hugging, and tears, and kissing, etc.
Eh, whatever. They'll be here 2 months. There's still time for mushiness and bonding.
I could write about our meeting, and the gifts my generous MIL gave me (lots and lots of gifts), but I feel like that's more of a private deal. I guess just know that things are going well. They all seem very nice but the language barrier, especially with my husband out of town (i.e. unable to help), makes it hard to really get to know one another. Insha'Allah as the summer progresses they will feel more and more like family.
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Edit: The second half of this post previously touched on polygamy. I found myself not totally agreeing with what I typed so I decided to delete that portion. I left the comments because everyone had well thought and valid opinions to share and I thought it'd be a shame to delete them.
4 comments:
I'm not muslim... but I don't get why the family of your (hypothetically) dead husband can't provide babysitting, money for daycare, support, etc. And vice versa for if your husband's sister becomes widowed...why would she have to start sleeping with your husband for you and your husband to provide help and support for her? Just my thoughts..
Could your husband's family just not lend you support out of the goodness of their hearts? Could you just help out your BIL's widowed wife (hypothetically) instead of having to be OK with your husband marrying her?
We help out some in our family with financial support, but have never thought we must marry them to do it. :) Also my nephew has felt loved and supported by us for years because we've done the uncle/aunt role quite well.
I don't quite know why you would *have* to marry unless you thought you'd be missing sex and your BIL's widowed wife would as well.
But, hey, if it's OK with you and the other parties involved and you live in a place where polygyny is not against the law, have at it! I only really hate it when I feel women are exploited and threatened and men marry other wives for wrong reasons. :)
Nice to read your thoughts on this topic!
And I'm glad the meeting went well with your husband's family!
I could never share my husband, but that's me, in my case I don't have to settle with sharing , I love my work and could support myself and my child.
Accepting polygamy would also mean that I would be depriving children of the full time presence of their father.
Hmmm. You all have really good thoughts! I may end up deleting the post because I'm not really sure, after a full night of sleep, lol, that I still agree with myself even. The thought of sharing my husband really, really sucks. So would I really want to put another woman in that position?
With that being said, for some reason I feel that asking my husband's family (or even my own family) to support me were my husband to die would just be wrong. For some reason a marriage makes it seem more acceptable in my eyes? I don't really know. My pride would hold me back from asking for support, especially since I have a degree and COULD work...and I think were I to find myself in such a predicament (and I pray I do not!) my pride would actually stop me from becoming a second wife, as well. :)
I guess in conclusion, I've finally found a bit more sense in polygamy. For myself, though, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to go through with it. Insha'Allah my husband and I have many happy years ahead of us and I'll never seriously have to deal with the issue. :)
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