So I promised a return to the blogging scene in April, did I not? Well, for those of you who've stuck with me, good things come to those who wait!
I am going to consider this my re-launch. Hopefully meaning I'll be able to keep up with posting semi-regularly about current events and what have you, rather than giving the bi-yearly update on life that the past two years have seen.
So what's with my title? Well, kids, life after college is not all it's cracked up to be. You see, when my husband was in school, he was on Saudi scholarship. That means he got paid, not particularly well as he could not report myself or our son due to our marriage not being approved in KSA, but predictable income we had, and additionally, my husband had 100% of his health expenses covered as part of this scholarship.
At the same time, our son qualified for state health insurance, and I was permitted, due to the ever controversial "Obamacare" to stay on my dad's insurance through my 26th birthday.
Well, my husband graduated in December of 2012 with a 4.0 and an M.S. from an accredited university....to absolutely no job prospects. And it was not for lack of trying....I've got a handy spreadsheet keeping track of job hunt statistics and from Sept. 2012-March 2013 he applied for approximately 210 jobs, all actually in his field, had 10 interviews, and obtained one low paying internship position. For those who didn't follow, that means we had absolutely no income for almost three months, and the income we've had ever since is only keeping us afloat due to the generosity of both of our parents.
Additionally, my husband lost his health coverage following graduation. Our son lost state coverage for reasons not to be disclosed, and I turned the dreaded 26. I know what they say about lemons and lemonade, but by golly I must not have the right recipe.
My friend's husband described it well, graduating from graduate school. In his words, "Everyone is congratulating you when really, your life is just like one big deflating balloon."
And before anybody finds a high horse to get up on, I know there are those who have it worse. War torn countries, evil dictators, critical illness, actual unemployment rather than underemployment and what have you. I know, I know, I know, and I thank Allah everyday for what I DO have. Despite this knowledge and gratitude, however, I'm still holding out for a more stable future both financially and geographically. I have a son who is uninsured, has never been to preschool because we couldn't afford it, and is supposed to start school in the fall and we don't even know where we'll live. Please forgive me for wanting to provide for his basic needs.
So that's 2013 in a nutshell. And 2014 is set to start the same way. So far as we know, my husband's internship ends at the end of December which could catapult us back into unemployment. To counter that, the job hunt has begun again and the spreadsheet displays 50 job applications since June, with two interviews. Seriously, America the land of opportunity my arse.
Have we thought about relocating to lessen our financial woes? He has. I am adamant about staying in the states. This country is far from perfect, but my family is here and it's all my son knows. I know my husband's family is far, but he made the choice to come here for school, to marry me, and to obtain permanent resident status. I made the choice to marry him, yes, but with the understanding that we would make our permanent home HERE in the U.S. He has had a job opportunity "back home" in KSA. The salary would be over 3 times what he's currently making, and they have universal health care. Does that make me a selfish person, to make us stay here uninsured and living in poverty? One may think so. I truly am not sure myself, some days. However, at this point I prioritize family and freedom over money, so judge away. I am not fond of the Saudi government nor many of their cultural 'norms.' And neither is my husband or he would have already gone.
And so life, full of its uncertainties, goes on.
5 comments:
Are you working at the moment? If not, you could try some day temp work. Its nice because you can get some extra cash but you only have to work when you want to. Subbing is nice too.
I have seriously considered working on and off, but at the end of the day the truth is that any income I brought in would basically just cover the cost of childcare. An education degree and a graduate certificate in school library media just do not bring in the big bucks, it seems. There's also licensing issues, with me having an out of state teaching license that requires hoops to jump through, as well as the issue of signing a year long contract when my husband's job most likely ends mid-school year. I'd hate to tie him down to one area like that because the job search is hard enough without limiting ourselves. When he was unemployed we stayed with my parents and I subbed as the childcare was available and free (family).
I also feel good about getting to be home with my son for his last year before kindergarten. Insha'Allah I've got years ahead of me to work, but he'll never be this age again.
It's good reading an update although i hate life has been so difficult. For some reason your son came to my mind the other day and I wondered how he was doing. I remember he had some issue with eating certain foods. Has that improved with age? Or is it just something you control through avoidance of certain foods?
I'm sorry your husband has had such a difficult time finding work, but I don't blame you one bit for not wanting to move to Saudi. I know some people move and thrive, and you might end up liking it if you go, but I just couldn't deal with many things there. Are you able to visit KSA?
Enjoy your last year with your son before he starts school. I can't believe he's that old now! :)
Thanks for the comment Susanne! I apologize for waiting so long to accept it. I went back and forth on this post, considering deleting the whole thing. It's all true, but it's a bit to "woe is me" for my liking. At 26 I'd like to think I have a better understanding that the world does not revolve around me, but at the end of the day, this is my reality, this is what I know, and this is my blog. ;) Noah has outgrown certain "triggers" as they are called in the FPIES world, still reacts to others, and has not retried others. At 5 he is essentially in charge of making his own decisions about when and if he would like to retry something that made him sick in the past. I am not going to force him through that to make my life more convenient, but if he chooses at some time we will go from there. At the moment, in his words, "He is NEVER going to try eggs again!" :)
I have never been to KSA. Visiting is very difficult financially and with my husband's current job (super limited vacation time). We also don't have marriage permission over there still, haven't even pursued it, so I don't know how that impacts things. My husband is also very interested in relocating to Dubai, and while I would still miss my family greatly, it's far superior to KSA (IMO). Right now we're just trucking on in Kentucky!
Dubai sounds interesting! I know a few people who have relocated to the UAE.
Good hearing from you! And I hope one day your son decides to try eggs.:)
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