Candice's post about running into her brother while wearing hijab has prompted me to share some of my own "hijabi tales."
I never leave my husband's apartment without a hijab. There are many Muslims in our building and complex so being seen w/out when they all know of my conversion would almost be a scandal, lol.
So, I always leave HIS apartment (not my house, for clarification) with a scarf on my head.
When we arrive at our destination, though, I always panic depending on where it is we're going. Red Lobster is a frequent destination and I always leave my hijab on for Red Lobster. The only person I've run into there is my doctor. He didn't even notice me. I think sometimes the hijab provides camouflage, because when people don't expect to see you dressed like that, they really actually "don't" see you dressed like that.
When we go to the mall I generally take it off. I left it on one time and felt so nervous the whole time that we only stayed a short while. I saw a friend of my mother's and was walking around so nervously and darting around so she wouldn't see me that I'm sure someone thought I must be shoplifting, lol.
When we go to the park it's always on, although sometimes I get nervous and look down because obviously that "hides" me.
When we go to the "big city" i.e. the state capital it is always on. Odds of running into someone are slim and I think the risk is worth it. Because I really do -want- to wear hijab.
When we go to Babies R Us I leave it on. At Christmastime this was an issue because of all the shoppers. I darted in and out of aisles to avoid a number of people I known that day. There is a girl from my classes who works at BRU and saw me one day. She ignored it, and well, I frankly don't care what she thinks anyway.
I wear it bowling. I saw someone from my education classes there one night. As in someone I spent 3+ hours with a day. She seemed a bit freaked when she realized it was me. And neither of us spoke to each other (at the bowling alley). The next day when we were working together on a group project it didn't come up. Now, over a year and many many hours together later...it still hasn't come up.
I wore it to the eye doctor to pick up my contacts. The lady recognized me and didn't comment. They've seen my husband so they probably think it's something I'm doing for him. Oh well.
I WANTED to wear it to my son's doctor appointment this week. It was just my brother and I at home so I was brave and put it on in a Spanish/pirate style so it wouldn't seem so overtly "Muslim." (My family still hasn't told my bro). Nevertheless, even spanish style my brother called me "burqa girl." I took it off so he wouldn't squeal to the 'rents, but put it back on it the car.
Get this, when I got to the doctor's office, though, my HUSBAND had me take it off. He told me he hated the style and that it was pointless because my neck and ears and small hairs were still showing.
Now, I was very self-conscious about the style. I felt I looked more chemo than Muslim, so I took it off without a fight. With that being said, though, shouldn't he have supported my attempt to be covered, instead of pointing out all the ways he didn't feel it was "proper?" Grr.
One more story, that's it, I promise. For our anniversary, hubby and I went out to Olive Garden with our son. I saw someone I knew, and I saw her stare at me for a long time. I ignored her, like, as in, "I'm not Nikki. I'm some Muslim woman who resembles Nikki." riiiight. Anyway, she obviously noticed me. Turns out she is in the college of nursing with my cousin. Talking to my cousin in the car one night (just us) I was being more open about my acceptance of Islam (not for myself, but as a valid path to God). She told me all about this Muslim man in her class who explained to her the difference between a burqa, niqab, abayat, hijab, etc. A little later in the conversation, she says "Did you go to Olive Garden recently?" I was like, "yeah." She then went on," well, my friend from nursing says she saw you there with (your son) and (your husband). She said you were wearing a burqa." Flustered, I respond with, "must have not been me." She goes on, "I told her I didn't think you wore it, but then again I don't know what you wear when you're out." THIS IS THE POINT IN THE STORY WHERE I SHOULD'VE COME CLEAN. She seemed fairly open to the idea of covering. Instead I laugh it off and say, "I don't even own a burqa, and if I did, I wouldn't want to wear it out." WHICH, in my defense, is ENTIRELY true. I personally think burqa's are gross and demeaning. I should have clarified, though, that it was me, but I was wearing a tunic, pants, and a scarf, NOT an actual burqa.
*sigh* I'm sure she totally knows I lied.
And that, my blogging friends, is just a number of my hijabi tales from my less than one year of being a Muslim. I'm sure as I come to cover more and more often, I will have a number of other stories to share. Hopefully all experiences will go without confrontation. The group I'm most worried about is the branch of my family that's not conservative at all, and then the opposite group, the elders of the church I was raised in. Only time will tell. Insha'Allah the reactions will not be too severe.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Random
I don't have pierced ears.
I never really wanted pierced ears.
And now I'm seeing all of these beautiful earrings and thinking, "hmm, it might be nice to have pierced ears."
BUT, as a hijabi in training, lol, and insha'Allah a full time hijabi soon....I feel pierced ears are a bit pointless. With a 15 month old son, I'm much more likely to be wearing sweats and a hoodie around the house than a dress and earrings. When hubby and I do get time alone together, well, clothing isn't really a concern if you get my drift.
I probably will never get it done. Just a passing thought, I guess.
I never really wanted pierced ears.
And now I'm seeing all of these beautiful earrings and thinking, "hmm, it might be nice to have pierced ears."
BUT, as a hijabi in training, lol, and insha'Allah a full time hijabi soon....I feel pierced ears are a bit pointless. With a 15 month old son, I'm much more likely to be wearing sweats and a hoodie around the house than a dress and earrings. When hubby and I do get time alone together, well, clothing isn't really a concern if you get my drift.
I probably will never get it done. Just a passing thought, I guess.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Spoke Toooo Soon
We had been "reaction" free since our hospital visit in October, when we removed everything but 6 fruits, breastmilk, and neocate from my son's diet.
Since they prescribed medicine for delayed gastric emptying, they dismissed my FPIES hunch and told us to start introducing new foods again.
3 days apricots went okay. Although now I think foods need to be trialed more than 3 days...so we actually started apricots again today.
3 days strawberries went okay.
3 days tomatoes went alright...although he was pretty grumpy, but maybe he caught my cold or maybe it was those darn teeth of his coming in.
3 days of green beans...oh wait, we didn't get through 3 days of green beans. Green beans, which he had eaten successfully prior to his hospitalization and extremely restricted diet, now, it seems, make my son sick. Green beans made him lethargic and out of it.
To me this just proves FPIES all over again, because it's normal for reactions to develop with time and exposure. Therefore, in the past, green beans may have given him a bit of a stomach ache, but there was no visible reaction for us to see. Now, we can see him visibly get lethargic and kind of "out of it." If we kept feeding him green beans (which we aren't going to do) he could possibly end up having a reaction as bad as that one in October which was TERRIFYING.
Anyway, I was upset enough about Friday's green beans scare, but Saturday and Sunday were also quite trying.
Saturday my son threw up 5 times. I don't know if it was a reaction, or if he was actually sick, because I couldn't trace it to any particular food, although he could very easily have picked something up off of the floor. My husband insisted on taking him to the ER, I doubted their ability to be of any help, but I agreed because he just looked so awful.
They weren't hepful. I won't even elaborate because that really says it all. We could have taken better care of him at home ourselves.
Aaaanyway, they weren't helpful, but our son kind of snapped out of it and ate breastmilk prior to leaving so we were no longer worried about dehydration since he started keeping stuff down.
On Sunday and Monday he had -horrible- constipation. Like, every bowel movement was accompanied by horrible screams, sometimes for up to 3-5 minutes. We'd lay him on his stomach on the floor and rub his back until he felt better. SO hard to watch him in pain like that. AND, it happend like 5 times in one day.
Ugh. So, today he's been doing better. No screaming, no throwing up. We're back to the original 6 fruits + apricots. Waiting to hear from the GI doctor for a follow up appointment time.
Motherhood is hard. It's exhausting to care about another person this much.
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12 lesson plans due Friday. :(
Since they prescribed medicine for delayed gastric emptying, they dismissed my FPIES hunch and told us to start introducing new foods again.
3 days apricots went okay. Although now I think foods need to be trialed more than 3 days...so we actually started apricots again today.
3 days strawberries went okay.
3 days tomatoes went alright...although he was pretty grumpy, but maybe he caught my cold or maybe it was those darn teeth of his coming in.
3 days of green beans...oh wait, we didn't get through 3 days of green beans. Green beans, which he had eaten successfully prior to his hospitalization and extremely restricted diet, now, it seems, make my son sick. Green beans made him lethargic and out of it.
To me this just proves FPIES all over again, because it's normal for reactions to develop with time and exposure. Therefore, in the past, green beans may have given him a bit of a stomach ache, but there was no visible reaction for us to see. Now, we can see him visibly get lethargic and kind of "out of it." If we kept feeding him green beans (which we aren't going to do) he could possibly end up having a reaction as bad as that one in October which was TERRIFYING.
Anyway, I was upset enough about Friday's green beans scare, but Saturday and Sunday were also quite trying.
Saturday my son threw up 5 times. I don't know if it was a reaction, or if he was actually sick, because I couldn't trace it to any particular food, although he could very easily have picked something up off of the floor. My husband insisted on taking him to the ER, I doubted their ability to be of any help, but I agreed because he just looked so awful.
They weren't hepful. I won't even elaborate because that really says it all. We could have taken better care of him at home ourselves.
Aaaanyway, they weren't helpful, but our son kind of snapped out of it and ate breastmilk prior to leaving so we were no longer worried about dehydration since he started keeping stuff down.
On Sunday and Monday he had -horrible- constipation. Like, every bowel movement was accompanied by horrible screams, sometimes for up to 3-5 minutes. We'd lay him on his stomach on the floor and rub his back until he felt better. SO hard to watch him in pain like that. AND, it happend like 5 times in one day.
Ugh. So, today he's been doing better. No screaming, no throwing up. We're back to the original 6 fruits + apricots. Waiting to hear from the GI doctor for a follow up appointment time.
Motherhood is hard. It's exhausting to care about another person this much.
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12 lesson plans due Friday. :(
Monday, January 25, 2010
The Best Thing
about being at an Elementary School as opposed to college is...
TWO HOUR DELAYS.
The bad weather is just glorious when you know it gives you two more hours in the morning.
When I was still on campus, walking to class through the treacherous cold and driving on the malicious ice...bad weather was a curse.
But now...love it, lol.
Hubby's still freezing his bum off on campus, though.
I'd like to feel bad, but right now I'm still too pleased for myself. :)
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
TWO HOUR DELAYS.
The bad weather is just glorious when you know it gives you two more hours in the morning.
When I was still on campus, walking to class through the treacherous cold and driving on the malicious ice...bad weather was a curse.
But now...love it, lol.
Hubby's still freezing his bum off on campus, though.
I'd like to feel bad, but right now I'm still too pleased for myself. :)
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
My Son
So, as I mentioned earlier, my son had a gastric emptying study done back in early January. They had him drink 5 ounces of neocate (a normal meal for him) with a tiny bit of radioactive tracer. They then strapped him down (literally, with tape) and x-ray'd his stomach for an hour. Surprisingly he wasn't -too- upset about being taped to a table. They had Elmo on for him and as long as me or "Baba" were by his side he was okay. You try to leave to go to the bathroom, though, and he'd throw a fit!
They took almost a week to get the results back to us (when they had implied two days), but nevertheless, we got results. After an hour of monitoring, 50% of the neocate should have left his stomach. SHOULD have. In reality, only 12% of it did.
Thus, we have a diagnosis...delayed gastric emptying.
So they've prescribed Reglan (which has a blackbox warning and absolutely terrifies me...nervous system problems and such as side effects!) and he started taking it on the 20th. They also gave the go ahead to start trialing new foods since he's now medicated (we were on hold in the food department.)
They took almost a week to get the results back to us (when they had implied two days), but nevertheless, we got results. After an hour of monitoring, 50% of the neocate should have left his stomach. SHOULD have. In reality, only 12% of it did.
Thus, we have a diagnosis...delayed gastric emptying.
So they've prescribed Reglan (which has a blackbox warning and absolutely terrifies me...nervous system problems and such as side effects!) and he started taking it on the 20th. They also gave the go ahead to start trialing new foods since he's now medicated (we were on hold in the food department.)
I just don't understand. If delayed gastric emptying is the WHOLE problem, why has he been eating apples, bananas, pears, peaches, grapes, and prunes for MONTHS with no problems.
I still think there's FPIES involved and am still sticking to fruits for now, and will probably not try oatmeal or sweet potatoes again (or any of his other 'possible' triggers) until he's at least three years old. He's successfully eaten apricots and strawberries while on the medicine...but I kind of assume he would have tolerated them without the medicine as well. I think we might try carrots tomorrow, or maybe cow's milk(scary).
Nobody understands my reluctance. They think "Diagnosis, let's eat!"
I think, "Diagnosis, maybe not encompassing the whole problem, scary, scary medicine, tread with extreme caution!"
BTW...my son started walking right around Christmas and by New Year's was good enough to run around attacking his 9 year old cousin.
He's absolutely adorable toddling around. BUT, he's so hard to keep up with! Look away for a second and boy, oh, boy. In crowds he is remaining strapped in a stroller for as long as I can get away with it.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Miraj
I'm having a dilemma.
Did Muhammad visit Jerusalem during the night journey, or not?
Al-Aqsa mosque was not built until after Muhammad (pbuh) had already died. So......well...how did he visit it, AND know how many gates there were (according to hadith).
I read numerous numerous articles fighting for both sides. Muslims following the hadith tales that clearly state Jerusalem.
Non-Muslims using history to point out that the mosque was not built until after Muhammad's death AND that the House of God that stood there previously was destroyed in 70 A.D. which, means that he couldn't have even visited the "mosque" in that sense.
The only sight I've read that actually makes sense, is the following: http://www.mostmerciful.com/night-journey-of-prophet-muhammad.htm .
If you have the time, PLEASE read it and tell me what you personally think. It doesn't speak well for hadith, just a warning.
My husband, I know, believes Muhammad went, really went, (I think it was more of a vision type thing) to Jerusalem that night. I'm starting to doubt that. I haven't talked to him about it, but I know he probably won't be pleased with my unorthodox views. I actually read a quote that said you could not be Shia if you denied the Miraj. Can you be a Shia if you believe the Miraj happened, but in a spiritual, not physical sense? And if you believe the farthest Mosque was heaven, not Jerusalem?
Hmmmm.....
New problems continue to present themselves. I believe in God. I believe Muhammad was His prophet.
Why is it more complicated than that?
My husband encourages my searching, but he gets a bit put off when I take on views that seem a bit "Quran only." More and more that seems the road for me, though. He will not budge on hijab (the actual headcovering, not modesty in general) being fard, though. Honestly I really can't decide. If it is SO CLEARLY fard, why is there so much discrepancy in the way it's actually practiced (or not practiced).
Did Muhammad visit Jerusalem during the night journey, or not?
Al-Aqsa mosque was not built until after Muhammad (pbuh) had already died. So......well...how did he visit it, AND know how many gates there were (according to hadith).
I read numerous numerous articles fighting for both sides. Muslims following the hadith tales that clearly state Jerusalem.
Non-Muslims using history to point out that the mosque was not built until after Muhammad's death AND that the House of God that stood there previously was destroyed in 70 A.D. which, means that he couldn't have even visited the "mosque" in that sense.
The only sight I've read that actually makes sense, is the following: http://www.mostmerciful.com/night-journey-of-prophet-muhammad.htm .
If you have the time, PLEASE read it and tell me what you personally think. It doesn't speak well for hadith, just a warning.
My husband, I know, believes Muhammad went, really went, (I think it was more of a vision type thing) to Jerusalem that night. I'm starting to doubt that. I haven't talked to him about it, but I know he probably won't be pleased with my unorthodox views. I actually read a quote that said you could not be Shia if you denied the Miraj. Can you be a Shia if you believe the Miraj happened, but in a spiritual, not physical sense? And if you believe the farthest Mosque was heaven, not Jerusalem?
Hmmmm.....
New problems continue to present themselves. I believe in God. I believe Muhammad was His prophet.
Why is it more complicated than that?
My husband encourages my searching, but he gets a bit put off when I take on views that seem a bit "Quran only." More and more that seems the road for me, though. He will not budge on hijab (the actual headcovering, not modesty in general) being fard, though. Honestly I really can't decide. If it is SO CLEARLY fard, why is there so much discrepancy in the way it's actually practiced (or not practiced).
Monday, January 11, 2010
I'm Still Living
Too tired. Too busy.
QUICK update... My son had a gastric emptying study done Friday. I thought they'd call with results today, but so far I've heard nothing. I'll let you know if they find anything.
I started student teaching on Jan. 4. I really enjoy it but I'm soooo worn out. 4-5 months to graduation!
My MIL had an abaya made for me! My SIL sent her my measurements and she sent it to America with my husband's cousin. (he had gone to KSA over x-mas break)
I haven't seen it yet because his cousin still has it. I'm excited, though. :)
I'm going to go fall asleep in the bathtub now! Hoorah. :)
QUICK update... My son had a gastric emptying study done Friday. I thought they'd call with results today, but so far I've heard nothing. I'll let you know if they find anything.
I started student teaching on Jan. 4. I really enjoy it but I'm soooo worn out. 4-5 months to graduation!
My MIL had an abaya made for me! My SIL sent her my measurements and she sent it to America with my husband's cousin. (he had gone to KSA over x-mas break)
I haven't seen it yet because his cousin still has it. I'm excited, though. :)
I'm going to go fall asleep in the bathtub now! Hoorah. :)
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