I guess it was wrong of me to believe that my blogging thoughts would remain 'private.' I changed my settings so that my blog will not appear on a google search, I use a fake name (Nikki) and try my best to either not post names, or post fake names instead.
With that being said, I have not been as careful as I should have. I have posted a picture of myself, minus hijab, although modestly dressed, I have posted a picture of my son (the back of him, but still), and I have referenced locations that give anyone familiar with them or tempted to do a search a fairly good idea of my location.
I don't want people to know who I am. I don't want anyone I know personally (family especially) to read this blog.
I have recently found my post 'Things are...' on two different Islamic websites. It has been 'tweeted' twice and facebooked three times. This was a very personal post highlighting some of my family's initial reactions to my conversion. I am slightly honored that people found my story moving enough to share, and slightly bothered by the infringement on my privacy. The line in particular, where my mom used the phrase "blow my brains out," really bothers me. She was in the first stages of grief and said something she did not mean. I don't want the whole internet community to think my mom is suicidal or makes a habit of threatening me with such things. This was out of character for her and I'm afraid of someone I know reading it and looking down on her.
I love my family. That post was right after the fact. My family still does not accept my coversion in the sense that they continually preach Christianity to me, but they do accept me as a daughter, they do love me, and they haven't removed me from their household or their hearts.
If those of you who posted my story read this, I would appreciate a) being asked before anything else of mine is posted and b) if you would remove that original post. That was a very personal entry, and one that I would like to have control over to delete if/when I see fit.
I am more than willing to share my entire story of conversion, including the family reaction, if you would like. BUT, obviously, it would be typed in a more formal, less personal style, and wouldn't include such damaging quotes, but instead an overview of their disapproval.
I would like to help anyone and everyone I can. And I believe sharing personal narratives is a wonderful way of doing this. Reading personal narratives on conversion is something I absolutely love to do, and knowing that my own story could be among them is exciting. That particular post, though, was written at a particularly low point, and I believe it would discourage more than encourage. I also do not wish to make my family or Christians in general look bad and intolerant. I do not believe the way to show the beauty and truth of Islam is through the slander of other religions. Islam is able to stand firm on its own.
4 comments:
As Salaamu Alaikum,
I have removed your post from QuranClub.
Some blogs have a sign that asks people not to republish content without asking. I think you should put up something like that. Normally other bloggers love it when a big site like QuranClub links to them.
JazakAllah
Nicely stated. I knew when you shared about your mom that she loved you. I could feel that she was only reacting out of her deep love and concern for you. It wasn't emotional blackmail or even abuse. It was a raw, honest, initial reaction to words that crushed her! If she did not care about you, she would say "eh, do whatever you want. I don't care what religion you believe in." So - to me - I felt it showed how much your parents cared for you and loved you.
Others can interpret it differently, but from the beginning I figured your parents would be sad and react in a way like that simply because of their great love and concern for you, their precious daughter.
:)
Don't worry Nikki, We know your mom loves you. Inshallah no one would misunderstand what she said- anyone who has gone through something like you or known someone who has converted would expect something like that [even if it is hurtful]. Its cool that they wanted to post a link to your blog, but i understand your reasoning to not want it linked without permission.
How did you find out it had been put on another website?
Salaams Ikram Kurdi:
I'm sure your intentions were good. But. Cutting and pasting from the Internet without permission is still a copyright violation.
Even when people put copyright statements on their sites, people still cut and paste from them.
That said, may Allah (swt) reward you for taking the post down from your site. That shows that you are honorable.
I have found my work all over the internet. Sometimes, when I write to the site owner asking for them to take down my work, they still refuse. Some even have the nerve to copyright MY copyrighted work, lol.
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