So /i told some friends that I'm Muslim, and they've had some questions. They accept my choice no matter what, and they understand the whole monotheism business, but they don't understand the purpose of hijab.
I know when it comes right down to it, we wear it because Allah commanded it. But how do you explain that to a bunch of agnostics? I know to not even try the "protection from men" argument, because I don't even buy that. It doesn't matter what you have on, if a man has that type of character, it doesn't matter what you have on, you are still at risk.
To me personally, it helps me feel a sense of community with the Muslim ummah and reminds me in public that all of my actions should glorify God/Allah. Those are very personal reasons, though, and not ones that I think they will comprehend very well. Especially since men have no distinguishing trait (unless you count the beard) that does the same for them.
So, do any of you, hijabis, want to be hijabis, non hijabis...I don't care your background...have an answer that has worked for your non-Muslim friends/acquaintances or even agnostic/atheist friends/acquaintances? It's easier explaining to Christians because they can see similar practice in Judaism and evidence for it even in the Christian scriptures. But non-believers....hmmm.
I'm stumped.
10 comments:
I explained to my atheist family that I want to be treated as a person and for my good qualities, not my looks. I pointed out to them how difficult it is not find tops that aren't low cut (they are in the US and my mom always complains about this) and encouraged them to think about why this is the case. I brought up advertising and how it objectifies women and said that my decision to cover my body shows that I refuse to be a part of a system that treats women like pieces of meet. They had no problems with it after that; their biggest problems is not how I dress, but that I am no longer an atheist :) Alhamdulillah.
Thanks so much! This particular friend has known for over a year that I'm Muslim and gets very upset still when the word hijab is even mentioned. She seems to think it's archaic and it makes me uncomfortable to know she believes this is all something my husband has "done to me."
I'll see what other advice I get and then try to make an amazingly compelling argument using the best advice from all, lol. She doesn't hate the religion, just the hijab. :(
oh, nikki, i could write a whole book about this...and maybe i will someday. ;-) suffice it to say, i get the same things. or worse, people assume that i am being personally forced to wear hijab by my fiancé. to people who would ask such questions, and who wouldn't care if i feel that wearing hijab is a command from allah, i explain that i wear hijab because i am a muslim, but also because i am a feminist (and that can be just as dirty a word to some people, lol...) but i explain that i don't want participate in a society that tells women that they have to be sexy to be successful, that they have to show off their bodies to be admired, respected, and loved, that they have to offer up every inch of their bodies for public consumption, because their bodies don't belong to themselves, they belong to society. people rant and rave about how hijab inherently oppresses women, but i have a really hard time seeing that. what i try to explain is that in many ways, so-called "western" society actually oppresses women more than hijab ever could. somehow, our society has managed to create the formula that wearing less and less clothing, offering ourselves up for the pleasure and judgement of others, equals freedom and choice. i want to contribute to the idea that covering up and demanding respect for what i have to say, what i think and feel, not how i look, is an equally valid choice, and a freedom that i treasure.
of course, this is all assuming people stick around to hear my feminist ranting. by this point they're pretty sorry that they asked me that question because now they've had to listen to the rantings and ravings of an angry girl in hijab who obviously isn't in any way oppressed by her hijab. :-) they're usually like, "whoa, this girl really has gone crazy..." and they've made their exit. lol, just kidding. :-)
I remember a friend once saying to me that her reasoning was the Quran.. it states that a woman should cover her hair, but it also states that she should cover herself in order to be seen as a muslim woman. That was pretty mind blowing to me when she first mentioned it
A lot of people at least somewhat understand the modesty angle...its usually the scarf that causes the problem. To most Americans hair is just hair so its really hard to get across why you would cover it. Even after studying Islam for 2 years I didn't completely understand why. It can be a loosing battle with some but you can at least get her to respect your choice even if she doesn't agree with it. Good luck!
Yeah, I totally don't like the "protection from men" argument either. I wear hijab because I believe it's what ALLAH wants from me, and it's a reminder to me that I'm a Muslim woman and must conduct myself according to Islam, especially in the way I treat others when I'm out in public.
I don't wear hijab, but I have a good friend who does. When we first met we talked about our views on hijab and she described to me how she gradually went from not wearing it to wearing it at the mosque, to wearing it when she wasn't around her (non-Muslim) family, to wearing it all the time. I asked her if she believes it's required, and she said no but that for her it helps her to remember to behave as a Muslim at all times. I really respected her answer at the time, but later I noticed that she thought she couldn't adjust her scarf in front of men in case they saw her hair and that she was sad when a hijabi friend of hers decided to stop wearing it. That made me realize that she hadn't been completely honest with me and/or herself. I think you need to figure out what are *your* true reasons for wearing it and share that with your friends who ask. Don't try to tell them what you think they want to hear just so they can support your choice. They will see through your answers if they're not honest ones.
for me it was purely an expression of modesty. for me it doesn't provide protection because it has covered my hair but has provided protection by sending an instant message to any person including men that i am a muslim woman and with that i have a certain beliefs as to how ppl should act around me. so far, i haven't experienced any prejudice being identified as a muslim alhamdullah and it has been very positive. i definately noticed a few ppl muslims and non-muslims who were aware and respected my beliefs enough to change their behaviour around me such as stop swearing and giving me a hard time. i actually had one pig headed guy say to me in class 'oh ur conservative, this means i have to respect you now' and he was a muslim lol. obviously not practicing which doesnt concern me in the slightest but it was nice to think that he started leaving me alone and knew that there was a boundary that he no longer tried to push no matter how many times i told him to leave me alone before i wore it. similarly, if he continued to act the way he did to a veiled woman in public it would certainly raise a few eyebrows by any muslim brothers and sisters who believed i was in trouble and help me out. so thats one example but its actually turned out quite practical and the longer i've worn it the more i've become to understand the social context of it. of course that means that wearing it as what zuhara mentioned means that its a constant reminder that there is a certain behaviour and expectation that i must uphold and believe in when i put on the hijab.
when i explained it to my friends i took religion out of it. for me, my hair was actually the one thing about me i was most confident about when i went out and the action of covering it really forced me to start drawing confidence from other places. when ppl say that it means ppl will look at you beyond your looks, i actually began to look at myself beyond the way i did my hair and the clothes i wore to feel good. not saying i was superficial lmao but it meant that when i stepped out i began to look at the positive things about who i was as a person that i think we all too often overlook and forget about. i've become so much more confident and happy with who i am as a result.
I'm Agnostic, but I used to be Roman Catholic. The hijab comparison that made the most sense to me was "Would anyone dare to take Mary's veil off?" Meaning, of course, the Blessed Virgin Mary, mother of Jesus.
Well, here's something I quoted from an article I made (a few clips here and there):
"The thing about the hijab is that it completes the external aspects of modesty, but it must be joined with inner modesty as well. It doesn’t mean that when I wear hijab, it automatically makes me a devoted, modest Muslim. It means that now I’ve got to accompany that with my inner modesty, and that’s when a Muslimah’s modesty (the whole jing bang) really shines. That, and I mustn’t exactly wear a hijab, and still wear clothes that show off our womanly curves, right? Surely, the purpose of the hijab is to complete the whole modesty thing, right?"
" It is beautiful because it preserves modesty, because it holds back the barrier of what we call “looks”, and focuses on the other (and inner) shines of a woman, a true worth of a human: her faith, personality, intelligence, her grace, her love, her heart."
" It wouldn’t be far-fetched to say that women are sexually objectified because of their attractiveness; this is especially true in the media around us. How is that fair to a woman whose worth is far better than that? How is that fair to a woman who may not be utterly gorgeous enough in their standards?"
". A woman is beautiful in her own way and right; her external beauty is something to be shown to a person she would share her life and love with – her husband. And to her family, if she so desires"
There you go! :)
Post a Comment