Islamic Ponderings

'Allah had cursed those women who tattoo and who have themselves tattooed, those who pluck hair from their faces and those who make spaces between their teeth for beautification, changing what Allah has created.' (hadith...)

I just read a post on a different blog about the controversial issue of plucking ones' eyebrows. The above hadith was copied and pasted straight from their blog.

So, I started wondering about this. My (Muslim) SIL always gets her eyebrows threaded at the mall. I personally get mine waxed every time I get my haircut. I know, I know, I'm new to Islam, so leave he scholars to deciding what's right and wrong. WELL, I may be new to Islam, but I'm not new to God. I've loved God all my life and have always feared and worshiped Him. My understanding of God is not that He will curse me for removing a minuscule amount of hair from my face. I'll admit upfront...I've got a lot of conflicting feelings regarding the whole hadith system. In regards to my eyebrows...if it's not in the Qur'an, I'll continue to get them waxed. My husband for one would be sorely disappointed if I stopped taking care of my eyebrows and let them run amuck on my face. Am I not allowed to please my husband?

I went in search for a bit more information on this hadith...and came up with this quotation:
"And it was suggested that what is forbidden is only that which is permanent, because that is changing the creation of Allaah; as for that which is not permanent, such as kohl which used for adornment by women, that is permitted by the scholars."

And now I'm even more stumped. SO, things that are PERMANENT are forbidden. Oh, okay, so my eyebrows don't grown back every month? How is plucking your eyebrows permanent?

And speaking of changing the creation of Allah, (I'm gonna get beat up for this one) what about body piercing? Saudi Arabia, the Islamic capital of the world, pierces the ears of baby girls in the hospital shortly after birth. Um...isn't that practice even more vain than plucking ones unsightly eyebrows? My ears are not pierced. My Christian parents would not allow me to put holes in the body that God gave me. But yet Muslims are in agreement that ear piercing (for women) is allowed, but no other body piercing, Heavens no!

I can pierce my ears...but I can't wax my eyebrows? I can use kohl...but I can't wax my eyebrows?

This hadith also got me thinking about "those who make spaces between their teeth for beautification." I, and most everyone I went to school with, had braces. I personally started treatment in the fourth grade. I got my palate expanded in the 6th grade, braces put on shortly thereafter, and did not get them removed until 9th grade. My teeth were BAD, and my mouth was too narrow to hold all of them (hence, the palate expander). In addition, my wisdom teeth were extracted from my gums three years ago because there was no room for them. The bottom ones would have dissolved the roots of my back teeth, and the top one (i only had 3) was blocking my sinus cavity.

So am I (and most everyone I know) cursed for getting braces?

I feel guilty typing these things 'out loud.' I fear that I'm a bad Muslim for questioning so much and coming to conclusions contrary to those of respected scholars.

Again and again I hear "Islam is all about taking the middle ground." If this is true, though, why are there such extreme rulings on such mundane matters as these?

Picture Post

Here are some things I see in my day to day life:

My wonderful son, Mash'Allah!


PICTURE DELETED FOR PRIVACY

The prayer rug my in-laws sent me from KSA,
My closet complete with tons of hijabs.
This thing on the wall that I can't read...all I know is it says Alhumdulillah
My drawer with two mishmars from KSA, and hand-me down prayer garment from my SIL,
My beautiful jalabiya that my MIL bought for me
a close up of the detail.
I love the jalabiya but don't have anywhere to wear it. I asked my husband where people wear these things and he said no where really. What? Then why do they sell them? He eventually said that he thinks women wear them to weddings. Well, I don't think I'll be attending any Arab or Muslim weddings soon so it will stay in the closet. I try it on sometimes just for fun, though.

Bilingual Children

My husband is Saudi, so Arabic is his first language. I am -trying- to learn Arabic and have recently gotten more serious about it. I know how to read and write the alphabet, but without any vocabulary that really doesn't do me a whole lot of good.

We want our son (9 months old presently) to be bilingual Arabic/English. There is NO Arabic speaking community or school programs around here, though, so it's all on us. AND my husband's at work all day so a lot of the responsibility to teach our son goes to me....but I don't know Arabic! How can I teach my son a language I do not know?

It's very important to my husband because his mom doesn't speak English, and he feels that he can better say what he wants in Arabic, so he wants our son to be able to speak his childhood language. It's important to me, too, because it will help him learn about Islam, and I think it's super important for him to cherish his arab culture while growing up in America. (also, it really is beneficial for children to be bilingual...believe me, I've studied it extensively in college for my minor)

Has anybody else tried or succeeded in raising a bilingual child? Is anyone planning to raise their (future) children bilingual?

I'm reading a book called "Raising a Bilingual Child," and it keeps stressing the importance of making the minority language accessible to children. For this reason I've bought a lot of Arabic children's books, flashcards, and workbooks. I ordered a lot yesterday from online-Islamic-store.com.

Here are the items I ordered for my son:

An Arabic alphabet floor puzzle,
Arabic alphabet/word flash cards,

An Arabic workbook,

Magnetic Arabic letters (that have ALL forms of each letter which is GREAT),and another Arabic writing workbook.


And I bought the following for myself from the same site:
Books on Reverts (I eat these stories up),and an Arabic book for me.My dad and sister have complained to me about how I buy my son only Arabic books and flashcards (we have hundreds of English children's books at home from my childhood). I try to explain that he will learn English AT SCHOOL and simply because it is the community language. Arabic has to always be a constant effort for him to feel comfortable. They drive me nuts. They complain about Islam, as I understand because they're Christian, but what do they have against the Arabic language? I have no doubt that my son will speak, read, and write English. But with Arabic it all depends on mine and hubby's effort to implement it in our lives.

Annoyed

Has anyone besides me done a search for "Islam" on any online site that sells books?

I'm sure I'm not the only one. I search for Islam and end up with a bunch of books written by a) westerners looking to make a buck by feeding the Islamaphobes just what they want to hear or b) "Islamic Extremists" turned Christian or atheist who are explaining why their religion is so wrong and an 'enemy to the west' (when they were never correctly practicing their religion in the first place, so probably aren't qualified to write a book about it).

To find a valid book on Islam written by an Imam or Sheik you have to first search through pages and pages of pure blasphemous filth.

The new trend seems to be books on the "endtimes." Everyone is soo obsessed with prophesying the end times and the signs are all there and blah di blah di blah. Yes, there will be a judgment day. BUT, if God wanted us to know when it was, He would have told us. We can watch for signs, we can read our books, but I don't think this is what God wants. I think God wants us to LIVE our lives. Accept death when it comes, but we must enjoy the time that God has given us. Our time on this earth is a gift and not one that we should wish away!

Just by reading book reviews on Amazon I have learned that:
- the Prophet Muhammad mandated a death sentence for all apostates of Islam
- Islam's awaited Messiah (Imam Al-Mahdi) is the anti-Christ mentioned in the Christian Bible
- Islamic Jihad = violence and terrorism
- Qur'an is a historical record written by humans from an Arab and tribal perspective
and of course...
- Islam oppresses women

Astaghfirullah for even repeating these lies!

Soooo, if I can get this much from just reading reviews, what do you think the people eating up these books believe about Islam?

Honestly, reading the reviews makes me sick. It makes me want to start a religious debate on the amazon site. People are MAKING MONEY off of BASHING ISLAM. They may not even truly believe everything they write...(I certainly hope they aren't that paranoid)...but they'll even sell out God to make a buck it seems.

Yes, the anti-christ will worship one God alone, pray 5 times a day, fast, give to charity...WAIT a minute, that sounds like what CHRIST did, wouldn't we be looking for different qualities in the ANTI-christ?

The Christian books written on Islam are, of course, incorrect. But at least sometimes the author's intentions are noble. (you know, save the Muslims! they need Jesus! etc.) They truly want to help us. BUT, some of them are not so innocent. Some of them think that by making Islam look bad and pointing out so-called 'contradictions' in the Qur'an, that somehow making one religion (islam) look bad makes the other (christianity) true.

I can't stand it. I've ranted long enough, I know. I'm just so disgusted at the naivity of people. What's worse, is they believe they're 'well read, and knowledgeable' about Islam.

Ramadan

I don't think I'll be fasting this Ramadan because I'm still breastfeeding. I asked on a Muslim forum on parenting.com about this and got very mixed reviews. Some women noticed their milk supply drying within 3 days, others fasted the whole month without any problems. My son eats solids (at most) once a day so he is still very dependent upon me for most all of his nutritional needs. Scholars agree that a woman can make up her fasts after weaning (but before the next Ramadan). This is fine if I only breastfeed a year, but what if I chose to breastfeed the full two years? I would not be able to make it up before the next Ramadan, and I'd miss the next one as well...? I'm not too worried about this just yet, honestly I'm comfortable with stopping at or around one year. (hubby on the other hand thinks since the Qur'an says 2 years, I should shoot for two. I tried to explain that scholars say this is beneficial and recommended, but really two years was mentioned because that's the cut off point. Alas, he is stubborn. Once he starts lactating then we can have this discussion, you think? ;)

Anyway, just my thoughts on Ramadan. I feel like a slacker since this is my first one as a Muslim and I am not participating in full. I will still focus on my relationship with God, though, read the Qur'an, and make a more conscious effort to be charitable. I will also fast a day here or there. We'll see how it goes before determining how often.

Has anybody else not fasted while breastfeeding?

Out. Of. Shape...and hijab worries

I haven't seriously exercised since I was around 2 months pregnant. I've done the occasional dance aerobics DVD, but never on a routine basis. Just when I have time and feel like it.

Soooo, what made me think I could ride my bike 15 miles today? Really now, what?

My (extended) family is a bit unique. They really enjoy doing things together. Every summer they have a bike ride. I've only gone once before (it's mainly my third cousins...one of them is also my best friend, so that's why I hang with their crowd, lol). It was two summers ago. Out of all of the bikers I was the only one that wrecked. Sliced up my hand pretty bad and had over 9 more miles to ride before I had any chance to wash it out. Needless to say, the healing process was hindered by all of the dirt stuck in it.

Last summer I couldn't go (or chose not to) because I was around 5 months pregnant. Didn't feel that it'd be a great idea.

But this summer I was more than ready to get back on the road. I called my brother today from my husband's apartment asking if anything fun was happening back home. He informed me that the bike ride would be today. Hubby was taking care of new students anyway, so I quickly loaded up the baby and headed for home. We threw our bikes in the back of my brother's pick-up and headed to our mom's cousins house. Once there it was bike city. There were over 20 of us there, although with people dropping out and switching bikes and such I think the most ever riding at one time was 15. We left our cousins' with our goal being the Tastee Freeze about 8 miles away. (yes, we exercise and then eat ice cream) Some of my cousins opted to run this year (ewww, not my thing).

Anyway, right from the get go I was lagging. At one point I could only see two people ahead of me in the distance, one, a fourth grader, the other my age (my BFF Kathy). Kathy went straight but the fourth grader turned! I didn't know who to follow...I chose the fourth grader, lol. (If you knew how directionally challenged Kathy is, believe me, you'd do the same). Luckily I chose right and arrived at the Tastee Freeze shortly after the majority of the group. (Katy arrived later from a different direction, of course)

After enjoying our ice cream it was time to hit the road again for the return trip. I got left behind within the first 3 miles (out of 8). I refused to give up, though, and pushed on knowing they'd make fun of me when I got back so much later than them. I pushed on. And pushed on. And waited for death. And pushed on....

And got back to the claps and cheers of my cousins. How sweet. :/

Regardless of riding by myself for the majority of the trip, I was very proud and had a good time. Until now, that is. Now that I've been sitting around the house...my legs HURT SO BAD. Even sitting still hurts.

I am tiny, i'm not bragging, just stating the facts. 5'2", 100 lbs. To the naked eye I look fit as a fiddle....ha. ha. ha. I am so uncomfortable in my own body right now. My fun day that I was so looking forward to ends with me pledging to never walk again, lol.

Just wanted to share my day with you ladies. And if you're wondering, no, I did not wear hijab. None of them know about my conversion/reversion. I wore capris (loose, mid shin length) and an old t-shirt (also loose). My cousins made a big deal out of my capris asking 'wouldn't i be hot?' Well yeah, but I'd be hot in anything riding for 15 miles. They also made fun of how white my legs are. They are white because I have only worn pants this summer (except for days like today). They don't know this, though, and just think I'm strangely albino.

While riding I thought, how would this be in hijab? Today was niiice outside. Of course exercising so hard makes you hot, but there was a breeze and I think I could have survived in light longsleeves and pants. Hijab, though, I just can't imagine my hair being plastered against my head with sweat. I guess it's not a whole lot different than wearing a helmet or baseball cap. But I don't wear helmets or baseball caps, lol, so all I'm familiar with is the delightful breeze blowing through my hair. I'll miss it. How do you full time hijabis stay active, especially outdoors in the summer, in hijab?

I hope hubby and I can get a secluded home, or at least a secluded yard, so that i can still enjoy the sun on my skin and the wind in my hair. I like the idea of hijab and it's easy to implement when shopping, or at a museum, or in class, or teaching (my future profession). But outdoors on hot days? Like when you visit a state park for hiking and canoeing (LOVE IT), how do you cope?

It's the Weirdest Thing

I have eczema on my hands. They are dry and itchy and just plain uncomfortable.

I don't expect you to care about that, though, lol, I'm just trying to lead in to my story.

Anyway, my hands were dry and itchy, and I'm here at my husbands apartment. I have a big black bag that I bring with me every weekend. It was actually my competition bag from high school dance team. Still has all my old team photo keychains hanging off of it. Anyway, this particular bag is the bag I packed for the hospital when I had my son. (or well, I started to pack it, but he came early, so...) ANYWAY, (i could apparently type one million different stories about this same bag) I had a bottle of lotion in the bag. I had it packed for the hospital. While at the hospital I used this lotion all day, everyday. My son was in the NICU, as I've mentioned before, and to get in the NICU you have to first wash your hands for 3 minutes. Only after witnessing you wash would the nurses let you in. And then, they'd have me change my son's diaper. And then I'd have to wash my hands again.

My hands were dry, nasty monstrosities because of all this excessive washing, thus, the overuse of the lotion.

I had not used this lotion since the hospital. But, my eczema felt dry and itchy, so I went to my old faithful bag. I put on my lotion thinking, well, nothing. But then I smelled it. I smelled it and I was back in the hospital. I was back in the hospital feeling one million different emotions: exhaustion, elation, depression, and the overwhelming need to protect. All this was bottled up in that lotion, zipped up in that bag, for almost 9 whole months.

I honestly feel overwhelmed right now. Like I'm going to cry. I'm so happy that my son's here sitting next to me kicking me in the side instead of dependent upon oxygen and a feeding tube. Mash'Allah he is the best thing that's ever happened to me and the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I love watching him grow and discover (today's discovery is his tongue).

I'm glad my hands are dry and itchy. I'm glad I'm chronically plagued with eczema. I'm glad I got this unexpected reminder just from smelling some lotion.

More than anything, I'm glad God chose me to be the mother of this amazing baby boy.