I love love love maxi skirts. They are awesome in the summer, SO much cooler than jeans that stick to your legs. Also, I can wear them to teach (teachers here cannot wear jeans) so it feels "better" to buy something that I know I'll get more use out of.
How many maxi skirts...is too many maxi skirts, though? I have around 14...and I fear buying anymore would be overkill...BUT they have the MOST GORGEOUS skirt ever at Old Navy right now. And it's on my mind. I know it was on sale a few weeks ago, though, which makes me hesitate. Now it's $30. I know, inexpensive, right? Not for me...out of those 14 skirts, probably 3 of them were over $20. $15 is my standard maxi price while I did pay a ridiculous $50 for my tweed maxi. I bought it for job interviews and such, though, so it's not such a waste.
While on the topic of skirts, I was looking for a long jean skirt to love for months. I ordered one from Christa Taylor ($55) that looked cute on the website. On me it just looked like a sack, though. I returned it, and eventually East Essence put a nice one up on their site. I ordered the smallest size (prob around $30) and it's still way too big in the hips and too long. So, I finally got my skirt, but it's been hanging in the closet since it's arrival in April. I hate to pay more to have it altered, but I can't sew and my mum's not exceptional at it (i.e. a lot of pants she hemmed for me back in the day I was later a bit embarrassed to wear...they'd go from too long to too short :/ )
So, my maxi wearing ladies, how many skirts do you own? What's the most you've spent? The least? Have you ever bought the same style in multiple colors? AND how many have you ever bought at once?
I have yet to buy the same color in multiple styles, but some of mine are rather similar. I'm thinking about buying the Old Navy one in both grey/teal and black/pink, which is why I'm asking if that's acceptable. I think the most I've ever bought at once is two. Burlington Coat Factory always has a large selection in the summer and I'm lucky to narrow it down to two, especially with $15 prices.
I would wear maxi's everyday if I could. But my parents somehow equate that as more conservative than jeans and a tunic, and I think at times it makes them uncomfortable. I wish they'd look back and realize it's ALWAYS been my preference. In elementary school, I wore long dresses even on PE day. 5th grade awards program you have pictures of all my classmates in jeans and me in a long blue dress. I've always had a tendency to dress more feminine than the masses. It's just now that there's religion involved, it's not seen as me being an individual, but me giving up my individuality. ugh
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
Saudi Permission Rules
So, my SIL was supposed to come back home to the U.S. (she lives here with her husband who is in school, she's studying English, as well) about a week ago. She was going to fly with her inlaws so that she didn't have to fly alone with her 1 year old daughter. Her husband flew to KSA with her, but left a week later because he had summer courses at school.
So, when he left, he forgot something important, it seems. He forgot to give her a letter, granting her permission to fly back to the USA.
It makes me sick that something like that is even required. It makes even less sense when you think it through and realize a) she was with HIS PARENTS b) HE was already in the U.S.! she was coming back to be with HIM and c) her dad was there to vouch for her/grant her permission (not that a 21 year old should need it) as well. The whole permission for women is a load of crap if you ask me, but, I would think that at least one of the above three things in her favor would have gotten her on that plane.
She missed her flight. Her in-laws are here and she is not. Her husband faxed her the paper, so now she's been trying to book flights again.
On MONDAY, my husband told me that his father was flying over with his sister so that she wouldn't be alone. My SIL already has her MIL, FIL, and SIL staying in her three bedroom apartment with her, her husband, and their daughter, so my FIL would be staying with US.
Okay, extended houseguest, while we're still getting used to living together, that's cool. When?
THURSDAY. They were planning on coming THURSDAY. So, my SIL again, had a ticket, but my FIL was on a list for if one became available, and one didn't. For that reason, they both changed their flight and were going to arrive SATURDAY (i.e. TOMORROW). I've been going crazy cleaning and hiding contraband...(kidding, kidding...kind of)...worrying about cooking, getting stuff together for my husband and I to sleep on the floor of our son's room....
And then tonight, my husband gets a call. He laughs and laughs. And tells me he has a "funny story." My poor SIL was sent home from the airport again. Not for the permission problem again, but their ticket reservations were lost. I don't find it funny like my husband does, although I do feel guilty for being relieved that I have more time before I have to host my first house guest.
I've only ever met my FIL via skype. My husband works M-F, and is starting class 1h 30 min away on Tues. and Thurs. nights soon. That means a LOT of quality time with FIL. He's very religious, and from an older generation. This means I'm worried that my Islam won't hold up under scrutiny, and my housekeeping/cooking/parenting won't either.
So, when he left, he forgot something important, it seems. He forgot to give her a letter, granting her permission to fly back to the USA.
It makes me sick that something like that is even required. It makes even less sense when you think it through and realize a) she was with HIS PARENTS b) HE was already in the U.S.! she was coming back to be with HIM and c) her dad was there to vouch for her/grant her permission (not that a 21 year old should need it) as well. The whole permission for women is a load of crap if you ask me, but, I would think that at least one of the above three things in her favor would have gotten her on that plane.
She missed her flight. Her in-laws are here and she is not. Her husband faxed her the paper, so now she's been trying to book flights again.
On MONDAY, my husband told me that his father was flying over with his sister so that she wouldn't be alone. My SIL already has her MIL, FIL, and SIL staying in her three bedroom apartment with her, her husband, and their daughter, so my FIL would be staying with US.
Okay, extended houseguest, while we're still getting used to living together, that's cool. When?
THURSDAY. They were planning on coming THURSDAY. So, my SIL again, had a ticket, but my FIL was on a list for if one became available, and one didn't. For that reason, they both changed their flight and were going to arrive SATURDAY (i.e. TOMORROW). I've been going crazy cleaning and hiding contraband...(kidding, kidding...kind of)...worrying about cooking, getting stuff together for my husband and I to sleep on the floor of our son's room....
And then tonight, my husband gets a call. He laughs and laughs. And tells me he has a "funny story." My poor SIL was sent home from the airport again. Not for the permission problem again, but their ticket reservations were lost. I don't find it funny like my husband does, although I do feel guilty for being relieved that I have more time before I have to host my first house guest.
I've only ever met my FIL via skype. My husband works M-F, and is starting class 1h 30 min away on Tues. and Thurs. nights soon. That means a LOT of quality time with FIL. He's very religious, and from an older generation. This means I'm worried that my Islam won't hold up under scrutiny, and my housekeeping/cooking/parenting won't either.
Bridesmaid Dress Compromise
I don't know how many of you were really concerned about my sister and I working something out for her wedding, but we've reached a compromise. My mother actually made us meet at the dress store (she was there as well) to pick something out together. I would've liked something even more modest, but I understand even this was asking a LOT of her. (she's the oldest, and well, quite demanding to be honest...and I mean that in the nicest way possible)
This was the dress she chose as THE bridesmaid dress. It was supposed to be worn by everyone.
As you can see....there was no possible way I'd be seen in that in public. Once upon a time, yes, but I've been Muslim for over a year, and to suddenly regress to wearing something that revealing again would honestly make me feel ill. (not to mention my husband said he wouldn't be attending the wedding if I chose to wear it...heh)
My sister put on the above dress while I tried on 7 or more floor length numbers that came in her color (wisteria...which is a purple) to see which one coordinated the best. I am the matron of honor, which means it's not AS weird for me to be dressed differently, but nevertheless, I didn't want to look like I was in a different wedding altogether.
This was the dress she chose out of the ones I tried on.
It's a major improvement. Although the v is too deep for my liking and there's a slit in the back. (there has to be or one couldn't move! Keep in mind the woman modeling in the picture is a bit more curvy than myself. I don't have hips or a rear end so it's not as hour-glassy on me. (I really have no rear end, just flat all the way down, and I actually have only one hip due to scoliosis. :/ )
Also, I got her to say yes to this shrug in black (since her colors are purple and black):
Again, I'd like longer sleeves and the material is sheer. It's black though so I'm hoping it won't be completely translucent. They had no long sleeve jackets, and the only other 3/4 sleeve one was not sheer, but it had should pads that made me look like I "was going to fly away." (my sister's words, not mine)
I know it's not proper hijab, but it's the best I could do with the options I was given. Also, next to the rest of the wedding party (and probably most of the people in attendance), I'll obviously stand out as someone who was trying to dress more conservatively. Any thoughts? Please, if you just have complaints keep them to yourself. I KNOW it is not proper hijab, I've already said that, but my relationship with my sister is important and I think we both compromised gracefully. (although she thinks she gave in way more than I did...)
This was the dress she chose as THE bridesmaid dress. It was supposed to be worn by everyone.
My sister put on the above dress while I tried on 7 or more floor length numbers that came in her color (wisteria...which is a purple) to see which one coordinated the best. I am the matron of honor, which means it's not AS weird for me to be dressed differently, but nevertheless, I didn't want to look like I was in a different wedding altogether.
This was the dress she chose out of the ones I tried on.
It's a major improvement. Although the v is too deep for my liking and there's a slit in the back. (there has to be or one couldn't move! Keep in mind the woman modeling in the picture is a bit more curvy than myself. I don't have hips or a rear end so it's not as hour-glassy on me. (I really have no rear end, just flat all the way down, and I actually have only one hip due to scoliosis. :/ )
Also, I got her to say yes to this shrug in black (since her colors are purple and black):
Again, I'd like longer sleeves and the material is sheer. It's black though so I'm hoping it won't be completely translucent. They had no long sleeve jackets, and the only other 3/4 sleeve one was not sheer, but it had should pads that made me look like I "was going to fly away." (my sister's words, not mine)
I know it's not proper hijab, but it's the best I could do with the options I was given. Also, next to the rest of the wedding party (and probably most of the people in attendance), I'll obviously stand out as someone who was trying to dress more conservatively. Any thoughts? Please, if you just have complaints keep them to yourself. I KNOW it is not proper hijab, I've already said that, but my relationship with my sister is important and I think we both compromised gracefully. (although she thinks she gave in way more than I did...)
Monday, June 28, 2010
Numbers
I converted to Islam last June. There is no big "date" that I can point back to. I said my shahada myself to God from my bed multiple times before reciting the Arabic with my husband one day.
When I started this blog I had not yet told my family. Those of you who have followed me know that I told them at the end of October. I had been Muslim for 5 months.
Those five months of hiding seemed like an eternity. They literally seemed to stretch forever, every day the question of "when should I tell them?" plaguing my mind.
I thought once I told them I would be more free to openly "practice." But my telling them didn't affect all that much of my actual "Muslim-ness." Living with my husband has helped. I've been praying regularly since moving in. I can now recite the prayers in Arabic w/out the use of my "cheat sheet." I can't believe it has been 8 months now since I've told them. I expected to have grown so much more in the 8 months than I actually have. I quit wearing capris this summer (last summer it was already rare) and have given up short sleeve shirts. When with my husband I am generally in proper hijab, but with my family i still do not wear the scarf and usually have 3/4 sleeves. I feel it draws less attention to me that way.
I long for the day when I can dress one way and only one way regardless of who's around. Insha'Allah that day will come soon.
In regard to dress, my mother just called while I was typing this. My sister's wedding is in October. She picked a bridesmaid dress that I cannot possibly wear. Strapless and short. She won't talk to me about it, so all dress negotiations are done through our mother. Mom just called with an alternative for me to look up on the website. It was floor length with straps, be still sleeveless. I said, it's okay, but can I wear a jacket or at least a shawl. My sister (through my mom) not only said that "no" that was not okay, but also that she wanted me to get it cut to just below knee length.
What is the point of looking for an alternative dress for me if it's still not meeting any of the requirements that my idea of modesty calls for? I'm glad she's at least acknowledged now that I won't be wearing that other dress, but really...we've got a long way to go still. I'm the matron of honor, so really I don't think it would be that odd for me to be wearing a different dress than the other girls. Also, our extended family has seen the way my clothing has changed over the past year, and after my long sleeved wedding gown I don't think anyone would be surprised to see me in a more modest dress. She says it's "her wedding" and she "envisioned" this specific dress and I'm "ruining" her pictures and whatnot. I understand that many brides feel they are in control of every aspect of their weddings, but really, is it more important to have your sister by your side or to have her in such a specific dress. Others, not understanding the call for modesty, may side with her, saying I'M the one who should put my sister first on her wedding day and wear whatever regardless of whether it's a potato sack or a clown costume. I see it differently, though, I see it as putting Allah first, not just an issue of clothing. What do you think?
When I started this blog I had not yet told my family. Those of you who have followed me know that I told them at the end of October. I had been Muslim for 5 months.
Those five months of hiding seemed like an eternity. They literally seemed to stretch forever, every day the question of "when should I tell them?" plaguing my mind.
I thought once I told them I would be more free to openly "practice." But my telling them didn't affect all that much of my actual "Muslim-ness." Living with my husband has helped. I've been praying regularly since moving in. I can now recite the prayers in Arabic w/out the use of my "cheat sheet." I can't believe it has been 8 months now since I've told them. I expected to have grown so much more in the 8 months than I actually have. I quit wearing capris this summer (last summer it was already rare) and have given up short sleeve shirts. When with my husband I am generally in proper hijab, but with my family i still do not wear the scarf and usually have 3/4 sleeves. I feel it draws less attention to me that way.
I long for the day when I can dress one way and only one way regardless of who's around. Insha'Allah that day will come soon.
In regard to dress, my mother just called while I was typing this. My sister's wedding is in October. She picked a bridesmaid dress that I cannot possibly wear. Strapless and short. She won't talk to me about it, so all dress negotiations are done through our mother. Mom just called with an alternative for me to look up on the website. It was floor length with straps, be still sleeveless. I said, it's okay, but can I wear a jacket or at least a shawl. My sister (through my mom) not only said that "no" that was not okay, but also that she wanted me to get it cut to just below knee length.
What is the point of looking for an alternative dress for me if it's still not meeting any of the requirements that my idea of modesty calls for? I'm glad she's at least acknowledged now that I won't be wearing that other dress, but really...we've got a long way to go still. I'm the matron of honor, so really I don't think it would be that odd for me to be wearing a different dress than the other girls. Also, our extended family has seen the way my clothing has changed over the past year, and after my long sleeved wedding gown I don't think anyone would be surprised to see me in a more modest dress. She says it's "her wedding" and she "envisioned" this specific dress and I'm "ruining" her pictures and whatnot. I understand that many brides feel they are in control of every aspect of their weddings, but really, is it more important to have your sister by your side or to have her in such a specific dress. Others, not understanding the call for modesty, may side with her, saying I'M the one who should put my sister first on her wedding day and wear whatever regardless of whether it's a potato sack or a clown costume. I see it differently, though, I see it as putting Allah first, not just an issue of clothing. What do you think?
Books, pigs, and other household duties
So, I have been living with my husband now for 3 weeks. In those three weeks I have taken on the role of "homemaker." I cook, I clean, I launder, and of course I continue to do the majority of work regarding our son.
This is the same role my mother played in our household growing up. At times her and my father would fight because she felt like we weren't helping out enough, or we didn't appreciate what she was doing for the family. I never understood these arguments, and didn't understand how my mother could be SO upset when to me I did not see a "big deal."
As I'm sure you can guess, I have come to understand. We had a big fight on Saturday for similar reasons. I have turned into my mother, temper included. :/
There is so much to do, it's like I can never fully keep up. And then there's still all the wedding thank you's needing to be written (by ME alone of course) sitting on the desk over there. I graduated with all these high honors yada yada yada...and now I have no desire to work.
I have decided to not look for a job, since we are moving in January. Although I did turn in my name to continue to substitute teach (Allah, help me). But after just three weeks of maintaining a household, I don't even want to sub (but we could really use the money).
I don't know, spending more time with my son and seeing how much there is to do around here has made me want to put work on hold until my son (and eventually children, insha'Allah) are in school. A lot of people don't understand, thinking I've thrown my hard earned degree out the window. But my mom understands. My sister understands. And my grandmothers understand. Because they've either lived it, or reaped the benefits of having a mother who lived it. There are years ahead of me in which to work (insha'Allah), but my son is only this age for a short time, and I want to be here for him. HE is my passion, not work.
Anyway, onto piggies....as though I didn't have enough on my plate cooking and cleaning and caring for three...my husband finally got rid of the parrots as a wedding "gift" to me. (oh how I hated their squealing...especially when it woke up our son). So, hooray! no parrots! More room for all the stuff I'm moving in! No more dirty cages! No more expensive pet food! No more vacuuming 24/7!
We went to the pet store the other day. Just for fun. Just so our son could enjoy the animals.
And I, yes ME, not my husband, I went temporarily insane and bought a guinea pig.
Now I have this huge cage taking up space in our apartment, now I have to vacuum 24/7 because he throws his bedding everywhere, now I have to feed him twice a day and completely clean his cage every four days, now I have to let him exercise daily, now I have to buy not only expensive pet FOOD, but vitamins, and bedding, and toys....
Hmmm.. Me thinks I was a bit hasty in my decision.
He is precious, though. His name is Jameel and he's furry and sweet. Actually, he doesn't really like us yet, but I'm just SURE he'll end up being sweet...right? right? RIGHT?
Also, books...I'm reading a very nice book at the moment. I bought it hoping a could relate a bit. And although I'm not so much because a) the girl in the story had a background much different than mine b) she is African American (which not to sound un-pc but the African American experience is generally very unlike the Eurpoean American experience, at least the experience of the girl in the book) and c) she embraced Islam much more "abruptly" than me. But regardless, it's a fun read and I'm dying to find out what happens next. It's called "Realities of Submission" by Umm Zakiyyah.
So, that's a quick update of my "new" life. I still go to my parents quite often, because, well, because I love them, of course. It's so wonderful to finally live with my husband, though!
This is the same role my mother played in our household growing up. At times her and my father would fight because she felt like we weren't helping out enough, or we didn't appreciate what she was doing for the family. I never understood these arguments, and didn't understand how my mother could be SO upset when to me I did not see a "big deal."
As I'm sure you can guess, I have come to understand. We had a big fight on Saturday for similar reasons. I have turned into my mother, temper included. :/
There is so much to do, it's like I can never fully keep up. And then there's still all the wedding thank you's needing to be written (by ME alone of course) sitting on the desk over there. I graduated with all these high honors yada yada yada...and now I have no desire to work.
I have decided to not look for a job, since we are moving in January. Although I did turn in my name to continue to substitute teach (Allah, help me). But after just three weeks of maintaining a household, I don't even want to sub (but we could really use the money).
I don't know, spending more time with my son and seeing how much there is to do around here has made me want to put work on hold until my son (and eventually children, insha'Allah) are in school. A lot of people don't understand, thinking I've thrown my hard earned degree out the window. But my mom understands. My sister understands. And my grandmothers understand. Because they've either lived it, or reaped the benefits of having a mother who lived it. There are years ahead of me in which to work (insha'Allah), but my son is only this age for a short time, and I want to be here for him. HE is my passion, not work.
Anyway, onto piggies....as though I didn't have enough on my plate cooking and cleaning and caring for three...my husband finally got rid of the parrots as a wedding "gift" to me. (oh how I hated their squealing...especially when it woke up our son). So, hooray! no parrots! More room for all the stuff I'm moving in! No more dirty cages! No more expensive pet food! No more vacuuming 24/7!
We went to the pet store the other day. Just for fun. Just so our son could enjoy the animals.
And I, yes ME, not my husband, I went temporarily insane and bought a guinea pig.
Now I have this huge cage taking up space in our apartment, now I have to vacuum 24/7 because he throws his bedding everywhere, now I have to feed him twice a day and completely clean his cage every four days, now I have to let him exercise daily, now I have to buy not only expensive pet FOOD, but vitamins, and bedding, and toys....
Hmmm.. Me thinks I was a bit hasty in my decision.
He is precious, though. His name is Jameel and he's furry and sweet. Actually, he doesn't really like us yet, but I'm just SURE he'll end up being sweet...right? right? RIGHT?
Also, books...I'm reading a very nice book at the moment. I bought it hoping a could relate a bit. And although I'm not so much because a) the girl in the story had a background much different than mine b) she is African American (which not to sound un-pc but the African American experience is generally very unlike the Eurpoean American experience, at least the experience of the girl in the book) and c) she embraced Islam much more "abruptly" than me. But regardless, it's a fun read and I'm dying to find out what happens next. It's called "Realities of Submission" by Umm Zakiyyah.
So, that's a quick update of my "new" life. I still go to my parents quite often, because, well, because I love them, of course. It's so wonderful to finally live with my husband, though!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Wedding Photo
Yes, I cut our heads off on purpose. I did not fully cover my hair AND I'm still trying to remain fairly private on here.
And yes, it is blurry. I dropped my camera that day and it decided to let too much light into the majority of my photos. :/
We did have a professional photographer so all will be well.
And yes, it is blurry. I dropped my camera that day and it decided to let too much light into the majority of my photos. :/
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Alhumdullilah!!!
Our legal marriage ceremony was yesterday. It was forecast to rain all day long but the skies remained sunny for our outdoor wedding! Everything was beautiful! My husband was dashing, and I hadn't seen him for two weeks so it made everything even more exciting. My sister, brother, mom, dad, son, sister's fiance, and two grandmothers were the only ones in attendance. It was small, intimate, and lovely and I'm so happy I stood my ground and didn't let it grow out of control.
So, in any future posts, "my husband's apartment" is now OUR APARTMENT. And I can now say "my parents house." Oh what fun. :)
We have a BIG reception in two weeks (150+ people). I tried to keep that in check as well but it took on a life of its own. :/
So, in any future posts, "my husband's apartment" is now OUR APARTMENT. And I can now say "my parents house." Oh what fun. :)
We have a BIG reception in two weeks (150+ people). I tried to keep that in check as well but it took on a life of its own. :/
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)