Thursday, September 30, 2010

Fail

We've been trialing foods regularly now and had been having such success that I allowed myself to believe my son was growing out of his FPIES.

Now, 7 months since his last reaction, it happens again.  Chicken is apparently a no no.

My son cannot eat rice, oats, squash, green beans, sweet potatoes, and now chicken.




I cried, not because I was scared, his reaction was minor compared to the past, and I feel prepared to handle them now, but because it was like reality slapped me in the face.  Here I was imagining retrialing past fails and eating cake on his birthday and here comes FPIES all up in my face like "I'm still he-ere."

:(   It's not like he ever had chicken before so the fact that he failed doesn't really change our lives at much/at all.  It's just the fact that I dared to think it could all be over soon.

Alhumdullilah he is a happy, healthy boy and this disorder/syndrome will not get the best of us.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

I have a real issue....

with hadith.

I try not to, but I just can't stomach the idea.  Coming from a Christian background, the hadith seem even less reliable than the Bible.  I'm tired of listening to people tell me how to live a Godly life...God already told me...in the QUR'AN!

This was prompted by Um Abdullah's post on apostasy.   I typed a long comment to her there that you can read if you click on the link and go to her comments.

I do not believe apostasy is punishable by death.  I do not believe adultery is punishable by death.

I get really frustrated when the Qur'an so CLEARLY states one thing (There is no compulsion in religion) but then people go around killing family members for choosing their own path because some hadith told them to.

I use hadith sparingly, and only for elaboration, not as divine law.   I know there are many many Muslims who hold the hadith in a much higher regard than me.  If I HAD to do that, though, I wouldn't be Muslim.  How could I follow a religion that I blatantly disagreed with on many counts?

If Allah gave us the Qur'an to follow, as a guidance, (which I believe he did), then why would he leave out information that is essential to the faith?  The answer is, he wouldn't.  Some hadith may help you become a better person/Muslim, but I think everything NEEDED to be a Muslim is already available in the Qur'an.

I'm trying to be as respectful as possible.  But it upsets me when I see new Muslims accepting the unacceptable (killing your own children for apostasy) because it's found in the Arab culture (which means it's definitely Islamic!  *sarcarsm*) or because it's found in a "authentic" hadith.

The God that I worship ordered a stop to the dreadful practices of burying newborn daughters.  The God I worship does not advocate the killing of one's own children in any circumstance.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Lack of Posting

So, there's a few things I felt like posting about, but I don't really have the time or energy to do it in depth/make it entertaining like I generally try to.  This is going to be a boring, bulleted post, just to keep you updated but to give me time to get some sleep.  :)

- Thank you all for the prayers for my father!  His eye surgery went well, although he has to take it extremely easy for two weeks so that it can heal well.  At the moment he still can't see anything out of that eye.  Keep praying, though, because now he's been having very bad pain in his side and chest. 

- I've gone back to work.  I substituted like four times over two weeks...but now I've taken someone's medical leave so I'm teaching the same first grade class for the next two weeks.  Alhumdullilah they are very well behaved! The teacher's very sick, though, so there aren't really sub plans which leaves me putting my acting skills to the test, lol.  As long as I pretend that I know what I'm doing the students will never know.  They called and asked me because I was licensed, which shows that my college work was good for something, at least.  (you do not have to be a college graduate to substitute teach, although you do have to have "some college") Since this medical leave requires more "work" on the part of the sub, because there aren't really laid out plans, they wanted someone with the experience necessary to handle it.  I love  getting paid for what I did last semester for free...but it's SOOOOOO hard to leave my son again after a long summer together.

- Eid was uneventful and a bit depressing to be honest.  Please don't be offended, in my mind I had just hoped for something more spectacular than staying home watching my son while my husband was at work.  We rushed gifts after hubby got home in order to get to my SILs for dinner.  And then hubby was so tired that we left after only staying for a couple of hours.  He took a nap, and then instead of hanging out with me, he went to celebrate with his friends.  I KNOW they "know" Eid more than I do, and I KNOW culturally it's normal to just do things with "the guys."  But I'm his wife and I know no one else who celebrates Eid and I was kind of counting on him to make the night special. 

- Marriage is hard.  And would only be made harder if I elaborated on here.

-My son is doing great with his recent food trials!  We passed beef!  And we've done four days of cow's milk, but it takes awhile for his system to build up resistance so we have to keep going for at least 3 more days to make sure he isn't becoming intolerant.

-My cousin, who I used to be best friends with, but then we fell out a little with the birth of my son/my gradually becoming more and more conservative/her having a large mouth and telling people things about me that're not true...knows.  And I am SO RELIEVED.  This is not what I expected, lol.  I know she "knew" about hijab, because people had seen me and told her,etc. ( She's also the one I lied to about it last fall ) But now she knows I'm Muslim and that with that came my decision to wear the scarf and that my parents know and that I decided last June and that my dad is super unhappy but my mom's not taking it too badly anymore...   So, she is kind of a gossip, but I miss her, we used to do everything together (we even dated the same guy at the same time (without knowing it...cheating scumbag) in high school and stayed friends, and actually, a similar thing happened a different time...) but anyway, we were so close that boys were not going to come between us even in cases like stated above, which says a lot about our loyalty to one another.  I hated how we suddenly felt a bit like strangers and I couldn't put my finger on when/where exactly it happened.  I think keeping Islam from people causes me to turn away from them.  Like, if I have to hide this HUGE aspect of my life, I just might as well disappear completely.  It's dawned on me that I've shut out tons of friends for this very reason.  Instead of being open and honest, I've just completely shut them out, which is only going to hurt their view of Islam now that I'm getting close to telling them. 

Anyway (so much for short and sweet)...more and more people were asking my cousin about my religious choices and claiming to have seen me here or there wearing hijab.  She was getting confused (rightly so) because she sees me quite regularly and I never have hijab on (because we're generally at family events, hence, the presence of my parents).  She is not shy, I promise you, and is in a class with my husband...so she just flat out asked him.  I couldn't imagine doing such a thing (I avoid conflict like the plague).  He asked why she was asking, she said she had a lot of friends and family who had asked because they thought they saw me, blah di blah.  So he told her the truth.  And he told her my family knows. 

The next day we were together at a family birthday party.  We went upstairs and ended up in a semi private location.  I thought she wouldn't bring it up, but of course, she is NOT shy, so she said, "Did he tell you he told me?"  And I said, "yeah."  And the gates were opened.  We talked freely, not even caring if our 15 year old cousin (who's room we were in) heard us.  (he wouldn't judge me, we've always been close)  It felt sooo wonderful to be open and honest for once in the past year+ of my life.  And it was on the second day of Eid, too (sept. 11) which made me feel even better about it.

She didn't judge me.  She said my choices were my choices.  (which means she's not blaming my husband either which is great) She thinks my dad needs to let it go.  Overall, she was great.  And now that I can truly be myself with her again, I hope to start hanging out more like we used to.

I think, like with her, family and friends are piecing together the puzzle on their own.  My disappearance from church services, my change in clothing taste, my strange eating habits during Ramadan, etc.  I've quit being super careful on facebook.  I join Muslim groups without caring who sees.  I left all the Ramadan and Eid messages right on my profile page, etc.  I'm tired of hiding.  It's only a matter of time until I'm completely free.  I can't wait, truly, regardless of the reactions.  :)


I guess I had more to say than I thought.  I did let it get to late, though...ugh, again.  :(  Night!!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Prayer Request

Please pray for a speedy/full recovery for my father.  He had emergency eye surgery today because his retina detached.  Everything went well, but he has to take it very easy for the next two weeks so that it heals correctly and his vision can hopefully return to it's previous state.  He has to take two weeks off of work and cannot even read for those two weeks.  (I can't imagine having two weeks off but not being able to read...what would you do?)

My eyes are even worse than his, and my optometrist has been checking my eyes for signs of retina detachment since I was probably 17, when they usually don't check until age 50 at least.  Maybe you should pray for me too while you're at it... :)

I was tagged...

Books I've read recently...

1. The Message:  A Translation of the Glorious Qur'an (currently reading)

2. Raising a Bilingual Child - Barbara Zurer Pearson (currently reading)

3. Coffehouse Angel - Suzanne Selfors (currently reading)

4. Don't Judge a Girl By Her Cover - Ally Carter (finished recently)

And I'm in the middle of two more, but I haven't picked them up in a couple of weeks.


Songs or albums I listen to all the time...

1. a variety of Islamic podcasts.  I loved the "Inside Islam" series done by Wisconsin Public Radio but I've listened to all but one and they don't do any new broadcasts. : (

2. some nasheeds by Dawud Wharnsby Ali

3. some Sami Yusuf

4. all three of Sherwood's albums

5. a variety of other stuff I've collected over the years.  Many of my favorite artists were contemporary Christian artists so I've had to clean out which one's glorify God and which one's focus on the deity of Jesus...

6. public talk radio...meaning, Rush Limbaugh and such.  My husband and I listen to it as a type of comedy.  The only thing the speakers on this station hate more than Muslims are liberals.  It's a bit depressing to realize people actually believe this stuff, but amusing all the same.

7. Jim Brickman

8. anything piano


I love...

1. ALLAH

2.my son

3. my husband

4.the rest of my family

5.reading

6. food
7. languages


Things I've learned this year...

1. Online shopping will be the death of me.

2. Facebook isn't all it's cracked up to be and there are major benefits to privacy.

3. It's the effort and intention that truly matters. (same as Anne)

4. That in the end, any strength I have comes from ALLAH and His Word (same Anne who was the same as Caraboska)

5. I want another child (and my husband doesn't)

6. How to live with FPIES.

7. Graduating from college was a big letdown.  Substitute teaching sucks.


New recipes I want to try and make...
kafta kabob

kibbeh

chicken mandi


Favorite online hangouts...

1. Blogs

2. baby center community

3. arabic children's merchandise sites (books, movies, toys in Arabic)

4. youtube

5. amazon

6. clothing websites (islamic and western)

7. facebook

8. yahoo mail


Projects I need to work on...

1. finish reading the Qur'an
2. pray on time

3.increase my Arabic vocabulary

4. start introducing Arabic letters to my son (he plays with them in a puzzle but we haven't worked on recognizing which one's which)

5. finish crocheting the two projects I've started (a cupcake scarf and a baby blanket)


Other people I think should do this:
Anyone who wants to!

Saturday, August 28, 2010

FPIES Update

My son has "passed" his ground beef trial!  With corn, beef, and lamb (along with his previous fruits and few vegetables) his diet is getting to be pretty well rounded!

I'm going to have to face off with dairy soon, but that's too terrifying to think about right now.

Sometimes being an FPIES mom makes you feel crazy.  When they do good, you think you imagined it, and when they do bad, you wonder why no one else believes you. (that it was caused by food)

I feel like a double minority, lol.  I'm an American Muslim (which is apparently not a good thing to be right now with this ridiculous mosque controversy) and I'm the mother of a child with FPIES (which is equivalent to being crazy in the eyes of many medical professionals and family members).  I feel so strongly about both causes that I just want to like proclaim the truth of Islam from all social networking sites, lol, and post FPIES information all over the internet so that it is more well known and diagnosed more often.  I think their belief that it is rare is a load of crap.  I see all of the mother's I talk to online that deal with it every day and I just know that we're a small handful of the people really dealing with this syndrome.  I get so gung ho about FPIES awareness sometimes that I'm ready to go Jehovah's Witness style door to door spreading the news.  (no offense to any JW, I think it's cool that they get out and share, at least that leaves less room for completely baseless stereotypes to be formed.  My husband actually likes it when they visit, lol, good interfaith dialogue.)

That's it, I'll hand out FPIES articles door to door while wearing hijab and spreading dawah!  Two birds with one stone?

Or I'll hide behind my computer and try to change the world from the couch in my pajamas.

Going Around Like the Plague

So, I know you've seen it on other blogs.... but I couldn't resist sharing my own answers.  :)

Bold if true:
I am a cuddler.
I am a morning person.
I am an only child.
I am currently in my pajamas.
I am currently pregnant.
I am currently single.
I am currently suffering from a broken heart.
I am left handed.
I am married.
I am addicted to my myspace.
I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
I am a little shy around the opposite gender at first.
I bite my nails.
I can be paranoid at times.
I don’t like anyone.
I enjoy country music.
I enjoy jazz music.
I enjoy smoothies. (I had one today!)
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I have a car.
I have a cell phone.
I have/had a hard time paying attention at school. (yet I somehow got great grades between all my doodling...)
I have a hidden talent
I have a lot to learn
I have a pet.
I have a tendency to fall for the “wrong” guy/girl (or at least I did in high school...my husband actually fell into that category as well because he was Muslim, heh)
I have all my grandparents
I have at least one brother
I have been to another country
I have been told that I am smart
I have been told that I have an unusual sense of humor
I have OR HAD broken a bone
I have Caller I.D. on my phone.
I have changed a diaper (more like a million diapers)
I have changed a lot over the past year.
I have done something illegal.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color
I have had major/minor surgery.
I have killed another person (really?)
I have had my hair cut within the last week.
I have mood swings (terrible at times)
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
I have rejected someone before.
I have seen The Lord of the Rings trilogy. (and surprisingly enjoyed it)
I have seen the television show The O.C.
I like Shakespeare.
I like the taste of blood.

I love to cook.
I like to sing.
I love Michael Jackson
I love sleeping.
I love to play computer games. (It's been awhile but I get totally hooked on Roller Coaster Tycoon)
I love to shop. (notice the emphasis)
I miss someone right now.
I own 100 CDs or more
I own and use a library card
I read books for pleasure in my spare time. (LOVE reading)
I sleep a lot during the day. (because my son doesn't let me at night)
I strongly dislike math
I watch soap operas on a regular basis.
I will try almost anything once.
I work at a job that I enjoy.
I would classify myself as ghetto.

I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free
I am currently wearing socks.
I am tired.
I love to paint/draw/sketch/sculpt.
I have had/have a broken heart

Smoked cigarettes
Rode every ride at an amusement park. (every roller coaster at least...we were totally on a mission)
Collected something really stupid. (pencils, erasers...yeah.  Also cabbage patch kids, and now I collect Miss Piggy/Muppets stuff so...I'm sure many would consider it stupid but obviously I enjoy it)
Gone to a rock concert.
Helped someone.
Gone fishing.
Watched four movies in one night. (slumber parties, yeah?)
Gone long periods of time with out sleep.
Lied to someone.
Been dumped.
Failed a class.
Taken a college level course.
Been in a car accident.
Been in a tornado.
Watched someone die.
Been to a funeral.
Burned yourself. (accidentally)
Ran a marathon.
Your parents got divorced.
Cried yourself to sleep.
Spent over $200 in one day.

flown on a plane
Cheated on someone.
Been cheated on.
Written a 10 page letter.
Gone skiing.
Been sailing.
Cut yourself. (on accident)
Had a best friend.
Lost someone you loved.  

Shoplifted something.
Been to jail.
Had detention.
Skipped school.
Got in trouble for something you didn’t do.
Stolen books from the library.
Dropped out of school.
Been in a mental hospital.
Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.
Had an online diary. (kinda)
Fired a gun. yeah it knocked me on my butt!
Gambled in a casino.
Had a yard sale. (LOVE 'EM!)
Been in a school play.
Been fired from a job.
Taken a lie detector test.
Swam with dolphins.
Gone to sea world.
Attempted suicide.
Voted for Pop Idol. (only if this includes American Idol...I'm not sure what pop idol is?)
Written poetry.
Read more than 20 books a year.
Gone to Europe.
Loved someone you couldn’t have.
Had surgery.
Had stitches.
Taken a taxi.
Seen the Washington Monument
.
Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once. (back in middle school, oh yeah)
Had a drug or alcohol problem.
Been in a fist fight. (almost! and I'm like, the weakest person ever so it wouldn't have gone well)
Suffered any form of abuse.
Had a hamster.
Petted a wild animal.
Used a credit card.

Gone surfing in California.
Dyed your hair.
Got a tattoo.
Had something pierced.
Got straight A’s.
Your parents sent you to a shrink.
Been handcuffed
Known someone with HIV or AIDS.
Taken pictures with a webcam.
Started a fire.
Had a party while your parents weren’t home.
Gotten caught having a party while they were gone.