A real live Muslim friend, who lives in MY TOWN...not on the computer! (And who is not my husband or an in-law.)
She is Saudi and recently got married and then moved to the U.S. I have been introduced to LOTS of Saudi wives. And there is nothing wrong with Saudi's, or wives, or Saudi wives, but I've never felt comfortable to fully be me. To say how I came to the religion, to admit that I did things in the past that are contrary to Islam, to admit that I still don't wear hijab full time, and when I mention what part of the country my husband is from, communication lines usually come crashing down (if they're Sunni). Eastern province (i.e. Shi'a) is mentioned and suddenly there's a beat of silence, followed by a flash of Arabic with reassuring smiles that this has NOTHING to do with what I just shared. (rolls eyes)
Well, Friday night around 8 my husband said, "my friend is going to drop of his wife for a little bit while we go and fix his computer." Welllll, Friday night at 8 I was already in my pajamas and planning on putting Noah to bed in an hour or so. Frankly, not thrilled. I told myself, well, she'll only be here for an hour or so, I'll just stay in my pj.'s and try and make the best of it. As I wait, I start to panic, change out of my pajamas, and frantically clean the house. 8:57 rolls around, I text my husband, "Is she still coming? I'm putting Noah to bed in 3 minutes" Response, "I think so. Okay." (meaning, I think she's coming, but put him to bed) 1 minute later, "She's outside. Open the door." So, my plan was foiled. No jammies, son is still up, and....a woman I have never met is on my doorstep.
She stayed until almost midnight. And aside from the fact that my son stayed up the whole time (which kills me, I'm a stickler for bedtime, but he won't sleep unless I lay with him), I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I was actually sad to see her go, even though she had ruined my planned night of laziness. :) You know how you meet someone, and you think, we could be friends but it'd take a lot of effort to get past acquaintance, and others are like a friend when they walk into your life? Well, I'll call her M, she's that way. And I'm so grateful that Allah has provided a Muslim (girl)friend in my life and in this lonely town! Masha'Allah, we got together again tonight and insha'Allah we can be there for each other during our stay here in this close minded town away from our families and friends. I am really so excited.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Thirty One Consultant
http://www.mythirtyone.com/Lquraish/
I am now an independent consultant for Thirty-One gifts. They sell awesome awesome products, mainly bags and purses, that help you to really organize your home and life. Before becoming a consultant I had already purchased five of their products probably all within the past year. ALL of them, have been used a ton except for the thermal tote. I bought it when I was substitute teaching to replace the plastic grocery bags I was bringing my lunch in. By the time I received it, though, I had quit teaching, lol. So this bag is in the closet for if I ever enter the workforce again, or if I just need to keep some food cool on a road trip.
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| Thermal Tote |
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| Large Utility Tote |
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| Organizing Utility Tote |
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| All-in-One Organizer |
I have also purchased a wallet from thirty-one. I realize saying "last bag" in the previous paragraph probably seemed misleading. I do not think wallets are bags, though. However, this particular wallet is probably as large as some womens' purses. :) I'm a mother, I have a lot of coupons, credit cards, insurance cards, store punch cards and discount cards, cash, change for the little rides at the grocery store, etc. etc. etc. ALSO, I'm one of the dying lot that still carry an actual check book. I COULD NOT find a wallet that would hold all of my crap and still close. Magnetic closure. Nope. Snap closure. Nada. Zip closure. Not until....I got thirty one's organizing wallet last month for half price (They run monthly specials) . Half price means I picked up a wallet that holds ALL OF MY THINGS, CHECKBOOK INCLUDED, for just $24.
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| Organizing Wallet |
Now you're all a lucky lot. Because direct sales has changed along with technology and now you can purchase all of these amazingly functional and affordable bags directly from my personal website: http://www.mythirtyone.com/Lquraish/ You don't have to host or attend a party and feel pressure to purchase, you just purchase as you see fit! This month's special is for every $31 spent, you can buy the Organizing Utility Tote (discussed above) for just $7! That's an $18 savings on an already affordable bag! Also, if you don't mind your item not being shipped until after Oct. 31, you can shop through the FPIES event listed on my page. It's a fundraiser I'm putting on to raise money for FPIES research. If you remember, my son has FPIES, which is why I'm donating a percentage of my commission from all order placed through this event to the FPIES United Family Fund.
Anyway, enough shameless advertising! (But really, the bags are fantastic. I couldn't sell something I didn't love myself) Go out there and buy something, either personally or through the FPIES event. Either way, you'll be supporting my dream of being a SAHMommy to a precious little boy. :)
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Terrorist Traits
So, right now CNN is all about this alleged Iranian plot to assassinate the Saudi ambassador to the U.S.
Okay, I'll give them that. But their idea of "investigative journalism, is sometimes laughable at best.
So, today they contacted the U.S. Iranian's former neighbors, to see into this guys day to day life and interaction with the community.
The neighbors were, of course, not surprised that this man has "gone sour." This man was out PACING THE SIDEWALK, TALKING LOUDLY IN SOME "FOREIGN TONGUE" ON HIS CELL PHONE, and SMOKING. And get this, this would always go on, LATE AT NIGHT.
OMGoodness!! If those are traits that breed terrorists, I have met dozens of terrorists in my day. In fact, I'm married to one.
Okay, I'll give them that. But their idea of "investigative journalism, is sometimes laughable at best.
So, today they contacted the U.S. Iranian's former neighbors, to see into this guys day to day life and interaction with the community.
The neighbors were, of course, not surprised that this man has "gone sour." This man was out PACING THE SIDEWALK, TALKING LOUDLY IN SOME "FOREIGN TONGUE" ON HIS CELL PHONE, and SMOKING. And get this, this would always go on, LATE AT NIGHT.
OMGoodness!! If those are traits that breed terrorists, I have met dozens of terrorists in my day. In fact, I'm married to one.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Holy Toledo!
Wow, it's been a loooong time since I last posted. For Ramadan I gave up my facebook games (I was a bit of an addict), and mash'Allah I have not gone back to any of them. Anyway, since I gave up the games, though, I wasn't on the internet so much, so my blog got a bit neglected. However, my husband got me an iPhone for my 24th birthday, so now I'm on facebook all. of. the. time. Because it's so darn easy to pick up my phone and check. But yeah, blogging on a phone, something I'll never try. Even reading blogs on a phone is terribly frustrating.
So, updates, updates. My last post was about hijab and how my parents couldn't meet my brother-in-law, etc. because they don't like me to wear hijab around the extended family. I hoped this would push them over the hijab edge but it didn't happen. My dad met my BIL when he surprised him at work one day, and the rest of my family never met him. (Full-time) hijab is still on hold, it seems. I'm at the point now that I can no longer blame my reluctance on my parents. Sure, I don't want to displease, them, bu there's also a part of me that's still uncomfortable with the idea of my more religious friends and family seeing(judging) me in hijab. Make du'a for me that I GET OVER IT and do what is right, insha'Allah.
The 2 months with my in-laws was quite enjoyable, although sometimes we had clashing parenting views, but that's to be expected even within the same culture, so, eh. We all learn to bite our tongue at times, lol. My son adores them, though, so I really wish they could live closer.
My husband's internship was a fantastic experience for him. I visited him once in MN for about two days and he visited once for three. Other than that we spent 3 months apart. Our marriage has actually been a lot better following the summer apart. Confession: most of the arguments in our marriage begin with me. Following his internship, I've learned to just appreciate our time together and not gripe so much. Even when he does annoy or hurt me (unintentionally) I've been so much calmer and I know we're both feeling much more peaceful and happy at home. Masha'Allah, alhumdullilah! I used to badger him about stopping smoking ALL the time. When he smoked (which is always outside and not where our son could see) I'd glare, yell, tell him he stunk, or cry. Sometimes a combination. He's told me that he wants to quit but it has to be for himself. My badgering only makes him defensive and stressed and smoke more. SO, I quit badgering. He knows I don't approve, he knows I worry about his health, but I don't need to throw a fit about it to get my point across. He has shown a much more increased interest in quitting since I've calmed down.
My son will turn 3 in less than a month, insha'Allah!! Where does the time go???? He gets smarter and funnier everyday, mash'Allah. I love him so much. I wasn't a very good mommy today because I'm sick and irritable, but I pray he knows I love him even when I'm frustrated. He's so excited about his birthday coming up and it's totally contagious. I may have more of a countdown now than he does. :)
My husband and I are both still in graduate school and will be living her until next December, insha'Allah. After that it's Alllllll up in the air.
The etsy idea was kind of forgotten when I didn't have it ready to "launch" in time for Ramadan (and many of my items are seasonal so...). Now we're kind of (understatement...REALLY) lacking in the money department so I'm playing with the idea again. I'm also thinking about going into direct sales of some kind. I'll keep you updated on all of the business business. for sure. I'll be annoyingly attempting to recruit customers all over the net, lol. Stay tuned!
So, updates, updates. My last post was about hijab and how my parents couldn't meet my brother-in-law, etc. because they don't like me to wear hijab around the extended family. I hoped this would push them over the hijab edge but it didn't happen. My dad met my BIL when he surprised him at work one day, and the rest of my family never met him. (Full-time) hijab is still on hold, it seems. I'm at the point now that I can no longer blame my reluctance on my parents. Sure, I don't want to displease, them, bu there's also a part of me that's still uncomfortable with the idea of my more religious friends and family seeing(judging) me in hijab. Make du'a for me that I GET OVER IT and do what is right, insha'Allah.
The 2 months with my in-laws was quite enjoyable, although sometimes we had clashing parenting views, but that's to be expected even within the same culture, so, eh. We all learn to bite our tongue at times, lol. My son adores them, though, so I really wish they could live closer.
My husband's internship was a fantastic experience for him. I visited him once in MN for about two days and he visited once for three. Other than that we spent 3 months apart. Our marriage has actually been a lot better following the summer apart. Confession: most of the arguments in our marriage begin with me. Following his internship, I've learned to just appreciate our time together and not gripe so much. Even when he does annoy or hurt me (unintentionally) I've been so much calmer and I know we're both feeling much more peaceful and happy at home. Masha'Allah, alhumdullilah! I used to badger him about stopping smoking ALL the time. When he smoked (which is always outside and not where our son could see) I'd glare, yell, tell him he stunk, or cry. Sometimes a combination. He's told me that he wants to quit but it has to be for himself. My badgering only makes him defensive and stressed and smoke more. SO, I quit badgering. He knows I don't approve, he knows I worry about his health, but I don't need to throw a fit about it to get my point across. He has shown a much more increased interest in quitting since I've calmed down.
My son will turn 3 in less than a month, insha'Allah!! Where does the time go???? He gets smarter and funnier everyday, mash'Allah. I love him so much. I wasn't a very good mommy today because I'm sick and irritable, but I pray he knows I love him even when I'm frustrated. He's so excited about his birthday coming up and it's totally contagious. I may have more of a countdown now than he does. :)
My husband and I are both still in graduate school and will be living her until next December, insha'Allah. After that it's Alllllll up in the air.
The etsy idea was kind of forgotten when I didn't have it ready to "launch" in time for Ramadan (and many of my items are seasonal so...). Now we're kind of (understatement...REALLY) lacking in the money department so I'm playing with the idea again. I'm also thinking about going into direct sales of some kind. I'll keep you updated on all of the business business. for sure. I'll be annoyingly attempting to recruit customers all over the net, lol. Stay tuned!
Thursday, July 21, 2011
The Waiting Game
is getting a bit more interesting. So 2 years of longing to wear hijab, but being shamed into not wearing it around my parents has got me to this point. The point of no return (insha'Allah!). The time has come when my two worlds are colliding. The in-laws are in the United States. And my parents want to meet them. Including my two brother-in-laws, one of which as never seen me w/out hijab (the other one has only because we knew each other prior to my conversion).
When my dad found out only the parental-in-laws were coming to this meet and greet, he wondered why the additional 5 family members were staying behind. I hedged around the question as much as I could before finally saying, "because my BIL's never see my without a scarf on." The loudest silence ever came through my phone receiver. He did not say, "oh, well then, wear a scarf, we'd love to meet them!" No, instead, when he finally found his voice (fought back the tears...) he said, "Well, then we'll start with this then."
I thought surely when I got home it would come up again. I hoped that this would be the point where I truly became a FULL time hijabi. But it came up only briefly. And was then dropped rather quickly when he saw the problem was ME, not them (the in-laws).
I can only hope that his feeling of 'duty' in meeting the rest of the family will cause the issue to rear it's controversial head again and again. We both could really use the shove. I've said it before, but the pressure is forever mounting. It's incredibly frustrating to feel you have to hide this huge part of yourself. Or worse, have people know that make you feel ashamed to practice openly.
Insha'Allah, insha'Allah the time is fast approaching. Keep me in your prayers!
In other news...I changed my facebook religion from "There is no God, but God" to "Muslim." I'm sick and tired of tiptoeing to not offend anyone. I know I launched a 'coming out campaign' awhile back, but it came to a bit of a standstill after I told my close friends, brother, and cousin. Insha'Allah Allah is working out the perfect timing and insha'Allah that time is soon!
When my dad found out only the parental-in-laws were coming to this meet and greet, he wondered why the additional 5 family members were staying behind. I hedged around the question as much as I could before finally saying, "because my BIL's never see my without a scarf on." The loudest silence ever came through my phone receiver. He did not say, "oh, well then, wear a scarf, we'd love to meet them!" No, instead, when he finally found his voice (fought back the tears...) he said, "Well, then we'll start with this then."
I thought surely when I got home it would come up again. I hoped that this would be the point where I truly became a FULL time hijabi. But it came up only briefly. And was then dropped rather quickly when he saw the problem was ME, not them (the in-laws).
I can only hope that his feeling of 'duty' in meeting the rest of the family will cause the issue to rear it's controversial head again and again. We both could really use the shove. I've said it before, but the pressure is forever mounting. It's incredibly frustrating to feel you have to hide this huge part of yourself. Or worse, have people know that make you feel ashamed to practice openly.
Insha'Allah, insha'Allah the time is fast approaching. Keep me in your prayers!
In other news...I changed my facebook religion from "There is no God, but God" to "Muslim." I'm sick and tired of tiptoeing to not offend anyone. I know I launched a 'coming out campaign' awhile back, but it came to a bit of a standstill after I told my close friends, brother, and cousin. Insha'Allah Allah is working out the perfect timing and insha'Allah that time is soon!
Monday, July 18, 2011
Anger Management
So my husband and I were having a bit of a tiff. Well, he was upset with me for something, and I was upset with him for being upset with me and not answering my calls, etc. These things happen, and I generally respond badly. He DOES NOT TALK if he is upset. He wants to wait until he calms down to discuss things or to move on and forget it (as in this case it was the best option). I, on the other hand, often sit and fume while he is calming down. Then, when he is ready to talk, I explode, making the whole thing start from the beginning.
Well, I am happy to say that I've been doing better! Maybe it is the fact that my husband is away and I know that were I to blow things up again it'd be that much harder to resolve over the phone, lol, but I'd like to think I'm learning from past mistakes. This time, when my mind was trying to get the best of me, conjuring up potential jabs for our coming (imagined) argument,(I have entire hypothetical conversations in my head...is this a problem?) Anyway, I stopped myself from imagining this argument or remembering past grievances, and instead tried to think of the beginning of our relationship. Our friendship at the university, what it felt like to see him after a whole summer apart, our first "date"... and it worked. It really worked. I felt the hate start to dissipate as I remembered what it felt like to hold his hand for the first time and suddenly feel complete. I remembered the intensity with which he'd look at me when he was speaking about his feelings. I remembered all sorts of wonderful, butterfly in your stomach things, and suddenly I was missing him instead of loathing him. It was great!
I don't know if any of you readers have temper troubles like I do (and boy do I...), but this trick worked for me and insha'Allah I'll have luck with it again in the future. Just thought I'd share!
Well, I am happy to say that I've been doing better! Maybe it is the fact that my husband is away and I know that were I to blow things up again it'd be that much harder to resolve over the phone, lol, but I'd like to think I'm learning from past mistakes. This time, when my mind was trying to get the best of me, conjuring up potential jabs for our coming (imagined) argument,(I have entire hypothetical conversations in my head...is this a problem?) Anyway, I stopped myself from imagining this argument or remembering past grievances, and instead tried to think of the beginning of our relationship. Our friendship at the university, what it felt like to see him after a whole summer apart, our first "date"... and it worked. It really worked. I felt the hate start to dissipate as I remembered what it felt like to hold his hand for the first time and suddenly feel complete. I remembered the intensity with which he'd look at me when he was speaking about his feelings. I remembered all sorts of wonderful, butterfly in your stomach things, and suddenly I was missing him instead of loathing him. It was great!
I don't know if any of you readers have temper troubles like I do (and boy do I...), but this trick worked for me and insha'Allah I'll have luck with it again in the future. Just thought I'd share!
Friday, July 8, 2011
Thoughts
So, I met my husband's mother, brother, and youngest sister today. I had already met his other sister previously (we've lived close to one another for 3 years now and are pretty close) as well as his father (he stayed with us for over a month last summer). I kind of thought that the meeting of my son and his grandmother would have been more touching than it was. I mean, he's 2 1/2, so was more into the toys than the people, and my MIL was SUPER excited...it's just I thought there'd be more tears, and hugging, and tears, and kissing, etc.
Eh, whatever. They'll be here 2 months. There's still time for mushiness and bonding.
I could write about our meeting, and the gifts my generous MIL gave me (lots and lots of gifts), but I feel like that's more of a private deal. I guess just know that things are going well. They all seem very nice but the language barrier, especially with my husband out of town (i.e. unable to help), makes it hard to really get to know one another. Insha'Allah as the summer progresses they will feel more and more like family.
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Edit: The second half of this post previously touched on polygamy. I found myself not totally agreeing with what I typed so I decided to delete that portion. I left the comments because everyone had well thought and valid opinions to share and I thought it'd be a shame to delete them.
Eh, whatever. They'll be here 2 months. There's still time for mushiness and bonding.
I could write about our meeting, and the gifts my generous MIL gave me (lots and lots of gifts), but I feel like that's more of a private deal. I guess just know that things are going well. They all seem very nice but the language barrier, especially with my husband out of town (i.e. unable to help), makes it hard to really get to know one another. Insha'Allah as the summer progresses they will feel more and more like family.
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Edit: The second half of this post previously touched on polygamy. I found myself not totally agreeing with what I typed so I decided to delete that portion. I left the comments because everyone had well thought and valid opinions to share and I thought it'd be a shame to delete them.
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