This was the dress she chose as THE bridesmaid dress. It was supposed to be worn by everyone.
My sister put on the above dress while I tried on 7 or more floor length numbers that came in her color (wisteria...which is a purple) to see which one coordinated the best. I am the matron of honor, which means it's not AS weird for me to be dressed differently, but nevertheless, I didn't want to look like I was in a different wedding altogether.
This was the dress she chose out of the ones I tried on.
It's a major improvement. Although the v is too deep for my liking and there's a slit in the back. (there has to be or one couldn't move! Keep in mind the woman modeling in the picture is a bit more curvy than myself. I don't have hips or a rear end so it's not as hour-glassy on me. (I really have no rear end, just flat all the way down, and I actually have only one hip due to scoliosis. :/ )
Also, I got her to say yes to this shrug in black (since her colors are purple and black):
Again, I'd like longer sleeves and the material is sheer. It's black though so I'm hoping it won't be completely translucent. They had no long sleeve jackets, and the only other 3/4 sleeve one was not sheer, but it had should pads that made me look like I "was going to fly away." (my sister's words, not mine)
I know it's not proper hijab, but it's the best I could do with the options I was given. Also, next to the rest of the wedding party (and probably most of the people in attendance), I'll obviously stand out as someone who was trying to dress more conservatively. Any thoughts? Please, if you just have complaints keep them to yourself. I KNOW it is not proper hijab, I've already said that, but my relationship with my sister is important and I think we both compromised gracefully. (although she thinks she gave in way more than I did...)
13 comments:
purple/lavender and black were the colors for my brother's wedding too, lol.
the other bridesmaid and I couldn't have looked MORE different, lol. she wore lavender strapless floorlength while I wore royal purple floor length with a long black cardigan thing and a black chiffon shayla with lavender and purple flowers.
so compared to that... I think you will match quite nicely!
maybe we should show your sister pictures of my brother's wedding so she sees how much you really did compromise... :-P
I think that's A LOT better than the first dress!!! :)
To fix the neckline you could wear a cami or have the semstess stich it up a little higher. And leggings underneithe to sort of solve the problem with the slit. Considering what she wanted you to wear before its a major improvement. Which reminds me that I got my friend to compromise on the dress I needed for her bachelorette party! But I wasnt as successful as you lol.
Im sure you will look lovely in it. Love the jacket
honestly, i don't like short dresses like that for bridesmaid. all my girls have a long strapless dress. and for the muslim girls, my only request was either matching or black (i think) shirt underneath and a matching hijab.
at least you were able to make a compromise :)
@ NeverEver - I'd love to see a picture of your dress. I searched for Muslim bridesmaids on google and only found one picture of a whole group of Muslim bridesmaids in Egypt. I was hoping for a picture wear not all the girls were Muslim, so that I could see how she fit in with the rest. I never found any pictures, although I did find people that had Muslim bridesmaids and allowed them to wear pants underneath and a cardigan. My sister is being a bit more picky because I'm her sister, and she grew up with me wearing stuff like the dress she initially picked so she's having a hard time accepting that I won't just wear it for her wedding now. She still thinks the change in my clothing is for my husband and not for me or God, although she knows I'm Muslim.
@Aynur - thanks! I think so too, although I may have to do something about that v-neck...
@LK - I didn't even think of leggings! I thought of black tights, but then thought that would look funny with our open toed shoes. I do have black footless tights/leggings that I bought awhile back to wear under some of my thinner maxi skirts. Great idea!
My mom bought a fabric swatch from the dress store (David's Bridal) in order to match flowers and stuff to the dresses. It was only a dollar and is the same fabric of my dress. It is just a big square of fabric and I'm thinking of buying one myself and having them sew it into the v. One of the reviews of the dress stated that one of their maids did something similar for more coverage.
I'm glad you came to a compromise with the bride in your life, as well! lol I don't think they ever think that they may be asking too much. :)
Nikki: if you can get a swatch you should have no problem sewing it in. Cut it into a triangle with a flat top and stitch it on the seam line for the neckline the wide part toward your face. Make sure the swatch is pinned while the dress is on you so the bustline doesnt end up too tight. I think that is an amazing idea. And then you can reuse the dress! Its very pretty.
If you do reuse it, you may be able ot take it to a seamstress after the wedding and have fabric added into the slit area. they would bring up the slit so you have a triangle in the back and put new fabric into the space. This turns the dress from straight to A line. You end up with this neat accordian effect in the back. You could add a contrasting piece like a textured black for a really cool effect!
Sorry, seamstress in the house LOL
halfof your chext is exposed, how is that hijab,
your sister won, you put Allah's commands aside for her.
i like the one she chose for you, the second one i mean. the one with the V. as for the V. you can sew it up a bit or wear a shawl.
And you are right your realtionship with your sister is very important and it's true that the two of you have compromised enough..so goes what for your best. We can talk for hours here and some might criticize you, but if we were put in your shoes we might do as you do, ignore them. only Allah will judge you :)
InshaAllah i will try to get ahold of my mom's camera and send you a picture. My e-mail is ecavende@hotmail.com if you want to send me your e-mail address :-)
I think it's a pretty good compromise! The long dress is beautiful.
Oh if you get the dress altered I'd love to see a pick. It has such lovely potential. If you need any more suggestions on how to Modestify it (lol) let me know. I've been playing that game with my clothing for years.
A'salaamu alaikum sis. As Muslims we are commanded to give each other sound advice (nasiha). We are commanded to "enjoin the good and forbid the evil". Alhamdulillah we are not Christian and we do not believe that we have to cast out the mote in our own eye before tending to that in our brothers. :-)
That said... only Allah can judge you. You have a mind, you can read the Qur'an, you can decide for yourself what is right and wrong. We all willfully disobey our Creator every single day. Subhanallah. :-( We will be accountable on the last day, to be sure. So all you need to do is decide what you are comfortable with.
You know that Islamically you are required to cover yourself and be modest. If inside yourself you are sure you are fulfilling the commands of Allah swt then do not worry about anyone else.
If however, you feel uncomfortable or unsure then you need to make du'a for Allah swt to give you the strength and courage to stand up for your convictions in any situation.
Please know I am not judging you ukhti but giving a reminder to us all. It would be wrong of me as a your sister in Islam (and I will be asked by Allah to account for all my actions AND inactions) if I did not give you what I felt was the correct advice.
On the Last Day we don't know what good deed will tip the scale in our favor or what bad deed will be our downfall. We all need to take that advice to heart and improve ourselves in all areas.
May Allah make us among the pious Muslimeen. Ameen.
Wa Allahu alim.
Nikki, I would add a nice, long-sleeved lace blouse (lined of course) under the dress, and put a matching hijab on top. That's already a compromise right there.
That having been said, I still find it shocking that your family is so disrespectful of your convictions. Even my close family member who is Jewish and partly for that reason extremely anti-hijab and anti-Islam has no problem being seen with me by their huge crowd of friends who all think more or less the way they do. They haven't asked me to compromise even though I'm not Muslim and what I am doing is completely voluntary.
Umm Aaminah, The whole point behind the mote and beam thing in Christianity is to avoid being a hypocrite. I am sure you will agree that giving someone advice, when one is oneself not taking that advice and living it, is hypocrisy.
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